We Were Never Created Equal

[00:00:00] Back to Business Finance and Soul, what do you think about when you hear, we were all created equal? I understand where it comes from and what we mean when we say it. We should all have equal dignity, equal human worth, equal protection.

[00:00:23] We should all have the opportunity to pursue a life that matters to us and that should be equal. I believe all of that, but if we take the phrase literally, if we interpret created equal to mean that every human being comes into this world with the same abilities, the same capacity, the same temperament, that same neurological wiring,

[00:00:49] the same potential in every area of life, that's just not true. And the older I get, the more obvious it becomes to me. We are extraordinarily different. Not just physically, mentally, emotionally, neurologically, temperamentally. We process information differently. That's it. We remember differently.

[00:01:18] Things that happen in our life, right? The way that we engage with the world, our memories, our ability to store that information and recall it is different for each one of us. There's tools and techniques and tricks and you can sign up to courses and classes to enhance things.

[00:01:39] But some people have a predisposition to be able to recall their memories faster, more accurately. You know, we handle stress differently. There are people who 100% are stressed on a daily basis for their job in a way that someone who is teaching yoga can't understand, right?

[00:02:09] There's somebody that operates in an emergency room effortlessly. They definitely feel stress, but effortlessly responds to a crisis every day. And someone who gets overwhelmed because they're sitting in traffic. You know, that's different humans. We communicate differently. We recognize patterns differently. I've seen that in my job so many times. People can't connect the dots.

[00:02:37] And it's very difficult if you are one of those individuals. You look at people who can't connect dots, who can't look at patterns and see similarities. And it's easy to get frustrated with those people. Right? Because you're going, why can't you see this? It's so clear to me. Maybe you are one of those individuals that has trouble recognizing patterns.

[00:03:06] People who are great at it end up really excelling in a lot of different areas of life. You know, we recover differently. We all have different levels of energy. You know people who wake up, get out of bed, immediately have the day in their hand, right? They are disciplined. They are intentional. And they're energized by taking on the day.

[00:03:34] Now, we can sell it and it is being sold right now as, oh, maybe you're not living in the right, you know, purpose. Maybe you don't have the job that wakes you up and excites you like this other person. But that's also been debunked. There have been many individuals who wake up with that same veracity and excitement and energy in jobs that isn't their ultimate purpose.

[00:04:01] They are disciplined, even in tasks and jobs that they don't necessarily feel a strong connection to. They find meaning in a different way. That's a different type of programming. We have people with different emotional sensitivities. They're fragile.

[00:04:22] You know, there's nothing wrong with that, but that is different than someone who was born and conditioned in a way where, you know, nature gave them a pre-programming that ultimately allowed them to be harder. You know, we have different capacities for risk. Again, this isn't a nurture thing.

[00:04:49] This isn't something that your parents, you know, beat on you and said, don't take risks. Some people have a huge appetite. Some people can concentrate for hours and hours at a time where, you know, the term neurodivergence, those individuals might struggle to concentrate for 15 minutes. Again, nothing wrong with it. It's just we're different. You know, different people have different abilities.

[00:05:21] There's something interesting about recognizing this. And I think we need to talk about it a little bit openly. Because if you have the ability to take information from 10 different places, synthesize it, and turn it into a decision quickly, you have an upper hand immediately on the world that we live in in the United States.

[00:05:49] Because that's a valuable skill set. Taking in lots of data and immediately turning that data into a decision point. And then executing. You can learn how to do that, but there are people who are gifted with it. There are people who are gifted with the ability to sit in a room full of people and understand what everybody's thinking. That's real.

[00:06:13] The interesting thing about this is that these differences are very obvious when we talk about physicality. Right? If somebody's 6'7", you can see it. If someone's incredibly fast, you can measure it. If someone has unusual hand-eye coordination, strength, balance, explosiveness, coaches notice it, you know, other athletes notice it.

[00:06:40] And there is a place for that individual to excel openly. And other people will look at you and go, yeah, you've got something there. You know, nobody looks at an NBA player and says, you know, if I just develop the right morning routine, I could probably do that too. Yeah. But you're not going to grow a foot. You know, in basketball they say, you know, we can't teach height. And that's why we understand that genetics matter. Right? Body structure matters.

[00:07:10] Natural ability matters. Training matters enormously, of course, but training is interacting with the starting point. And yet when we move from the body to the brain, we sometimes pretend that the same reality disappears. And really, the only reason for that is because we're relying on our senses. We can't see it.

[00:07:32] You can see that somebody's taller than you, but you can't necessarily see that another person can hold vastly more information in their working memory. You cannot see that. And so someone gets promoted and you started on the same day and they're promoted faster than you. And you're going, what the heck? Why can't I keep up with them? Why do they have this just uncanny ability to execute?

[00:08:00] I experienced that in my first real job. There was a colleague of mine. We were hired only a month apart from each other. And he just seemed to get things faster than me. I later learned that, you know, he had a specific skill set that had helped him in that job.

[00:08:26] He had an ability to really navigate difficult conversations without becoming emotional. And that was something that just didn't work well for me. I've always been an emotional person. I've always really, really struggled to hold back from reacting the minute something happens. I was born with it. You know, I remember being, you know, in fourth and fifth grade. And if something happened to me that I didn't agree with.

[00:08:57] Not having that ability to quickly distill what was really happening, I just reacted. It was more animalistic. It was very primal. You know, we can't see if someone recognizes patterns unusually quickly. We now have things like YouTube of where you can see, you know, savants solving a Rubik's Cube in two seconds.

[00:09:24] We can see that and we're going, okay, that person's different. But what about the everyday person? What about all of the millions of people that are out there working in similar fields to us? You know, you can't, I can't test somebody's stress capacity. And since I can't see somebody's brain, it's not fair for me to assume that everybody's working with the same equipment.

[00:09:53] The fact is we aren't. And I think that we need to accept that. And the reason for that is it can actually be very freeing for you. Because one of the most destructive ideas in modern self-improvement is this idea that if you want it badly enough, you can become anything. You just got to follow the system. Right?

[00:10:20] Wake up at five, take the cold plunge, journal, meditate, read 50 books, follow these seven habits, do what this billionaire does every morning, and somehow you're going to end up with the same outcome. And that's the crazy part. I love habits. I love learning. I love discipline. I love personal development. I do like cold plunges. I've built much of my life around those things. But I think that there is a subtle lie that's hiding in some of that messaging.

[00:10:49] I've bought into it. Right? I've bought into this idea that maybe I could grow a professional pursuit to the level of someone else if I just had the recipe, whatever that recipe is. And people search for it. I have in the past. And I think it's almost like recognizing this sometimes can feel like it's a bit taboo. Right?

[00:11:19] You know, it almost feels like defeat. Like, okay, well, then throw your hands up. Because I don't believe that either. Right? The lie is that the same inputs should create the same outputs in everybody. But they don't. You know? You know, I've noticed it. Especially in entrepreneurship. There are people who appear almost purpose built for it. Things seem to unfold for them in a different way.

[00:11:49] Just all the things we talked about. You know, synthesizing massive amounts of information. Recognizing patterns early. That's the key. Seeing things before other people see it. You know, professional baseball player. You think that they just got better at hitting fastballs? No. From an early age, they probably had that ability to see it come in just a little slower than you. The ball was more manageable.

[00:12:17] If you've got a fiery nervous system, you're someone like me. And fastballs just, they were tough for me. Because I just, it would set off an explosion. And I played baseball all throughout high school and growing up. And it just, it was always a struggle to slow things down for me. The people who can see patterns in business early.

[00:12:46] People can make decisions without all the information. They can persuade people. They can raise money. They can sell. I can sell. Other people can't do what I do. Yeah. But then there's other people who can absorb enormous stress. Right? Someone who's out on a battlefield with a massive crisis around them. And they've got to do triage on somebody that's been injured. Massive stress.

[00:13:16] I don't think I could do that. And that's big difference, right? Can you handle running a company? Having 100 people. Having payroll due on Friday. A major client threatening to leave. A key employee that's about to quit. Investors asking difficult questions. And you know that you're tight on capital. And all this is happening at once.

[00:13:45] And somehow you continue operating. That's the thing. Is by saying this, it doesn't mean people didn't learn it. Of course. But you had a predisposition to it. You know? Being 6'9 doesn't mean you're going to be in the NBA. It means that you have the opportunity to develop the next set of skills that builds on your gift. And that's what's happening in our brains.

[00:14:13] There are people who have been given something. It would be amazing to have the scans of our brains and being able to see what our aptitudes are. And maybe somewhere in the future with AI, especially getting into the hardware space, maybe that will be available to us. Can you imagine living in a world of where you get a scan of your brain and it shows your aptitudes? It shows what you are.

[00:14:43] Not a personality test. Because those have been around a long time. And those even help. Right? But actually looking at the synapses in your brain. How things fire. And looking at neurologically your gifts. Or lack thereof. You know? Some people thrive in the environment that I just mentioned. All that chaos.

[00:15:12] And other really talented people would be absolutely miserable. They can't even handle it. It's too much. And that doesn't make one person better. It just makes them different. And that's the same things that happens in athletics and music, engineering, teaching, parenting, medicine, writing, leadership. And even relationships. Some people are just good at relationships. And some people aren't.

[00:15:41] And it feels like when you're not. I'm sure. I've been decent at relationships. I seem to have done well. I'm with my wife for 26 years. There's often times where I'm just like, how do I navigate this? Maybe I'm good at relationships. Maybe I'm just good at being able to get through struggles.

[00:16:07] But there are some people who really can't even hold a relationship for very long. And that you could definitely feel by society standards that you're failing. I've struggled with relationships professionally.

[00:16:49] I've struggled with relationships professionally. High school, college scholarships, professional sports. You get endorsements of media. All of that is built in. Unbelievable outlet for you. If you're extraordinarily good at processing financial information. You understand markets, timing. You recognize opportunities. You can make decisions under extreme uncertainty. There are environments where that gift can generate extraordinary wealth.

[00:17:21] If you have unusual empathy and patience, you may become an incredible therapist or a teacher or nurse or parent. If you have an incredible ear and rhythm and creativity, then music may be your gift. I see it with my son, our son. He's got this unbelievable rhythm.

[00:17:46] And so music for him, although he has to work at it, is much easier for him to catch a beat. We saw that when he was two. Other kids didn't have that. But here's the problem. We tend to notice the gifts that society rewards most visibly. And that's money. That's status. That's athletic achievement. That's beauty or fame or academic credentials.

[00:18:15] And then we start comparing ourselves. So that's the list, right? We see it. The money, status, beauty, fame, all that stuff. And then we look at someone else and say, well, why can't I do that? Why am I not further ahead? Why is that person making 10 times what I make? Why'd their company grow faster? Like, dude can remember everything he read? What?

[00:18:41] And you start asking yourself, am I disciplined enough? You assume the difference might be effort. Maybe I'm not reading enough. Maybe I need a new system, another coach, another course. But sometimes it's just much simpler, right? You're not them. They are not you. It doesn't mean you shouldn't improve. Far from it.

[00:19:09] You should always take your baseline and continue to stack on top of it. But it does mean that you should stop expecting yourself to become somebody else. This is something that I have noticed time and time again in my own life. The more I learn, the more I am aware of my own limitations. I know what my limitations are in business. I've got a certain propensity to want to achieve and go after great things.

[00:19:37] But I also am recognizing what fires me up, excites me, and overwhelms me. You know, I don't want to swim upstream for things that don't naturally come to me. Maybe there's a better future for me on the other side of that thing. But I find that I'm not in flow. It's almost like I'm going against the grain. And so life becomes harder because I'm trying to push, push. And you don't want to be Sisyphus, right?

[00:20:07] You don't want to be pushing that rock up the hill your whole life. There's that old idea that the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know. That's been absolutely true for me. When you're younger, easy to think. I figured this out. Then you meet someone who understands the subject at a level you didn't even realize existed. In business or investing or even relationships.

[00:20:30] Suddenly you realize what you considered expertise might actually be chapter three of a 500-page book. And that is something beautiful. Because humility really becomes front. It's front and center when you start to understand yourself. But not when you think less of yourself. When you see yourself more clearly. What are your strengths? Where are your weaknesses?

[00:21:00] What are your gifts? What are your limitations? What really, really do you not like? Because if those things are in your job and you feel like you're swimming upstream. No matter what the job is. Even a cool job. And you're working ten times harder than everyone else. It's probably not aligned. And that's where a lot of problems persist.

[00:21:31] You know, the things that come naturally. The things that require enormous effort. These are markers. They're data points that you want to look at. It's difficult for ambitious people to accept this. I know. It is for me.

[00:21:52] It's difficult because ambitious people have been conditioned to believe that every limitation is simply an obstacle waiting to be overcome. And that's the nuance of it. Sometimes it is. Sometimes you do need to work harder. You're not putting in enough time. Sometimes you need better habits. Sometimes you are making excuses. But sometimes you're just simply standing in the wrong place. And that's a big difference right there.

[00:22:22] Right? That's kind of what I am looking at in my own life. Going, yeah, okay. If I'm maximizing all my controllables, what's the outlier here? What is the thing that I can't see? Because there's a huge difference between quitting because something is difficult and recognizing that my gift might be pointing somewhere else. Super, super challenging.

[00:22:48] And I'm glad I haven't done this, but I know many people who have, you know, spent their life comparing them, their effort, their outcome to somebody who was designed for a completely different game. You could spend decades believing that you're failing. I have felt that for sure. Always behind. Always behind.

[00:23:16] It helps in a lot of areas, but super stressful along the way. We see all of this inside families. That's what it's easy to kind of understand. You've got brothers and sisters raised in the same house, and they're just incredibly different people. Same parents, same neighborhood, same opportunities, completely different humans. One child might have unbelievable memory. The other one is amazingly creative.

[00:23:47] Somebody can handle the pressure. Someone's super sensitive. If you're a parent, you know what I'm saying. You have kids that are just different. One is naturally social. The other one can be alone for hours. One's athletic, and one is analytical. And we expect it, right? As parents. If you're aware and you've seen other parents with kids, you look at it and you go, yeah, okay. I get it. That's normal.

[00:24:20] But even in those environments, you can look at a situation knowing that your kids are going to process that situation differently and then expect an identical outcome. We definitely should not, but it's easy to fall into that. And that's where I think the concept becomes, you know, more optimistic instead of depressing. We're not identical.

[00:24:46] And once we start knowing this, then comparison makes less and less sense. I mean, we can talk about it. The quote, comparison is a thief of joy. But go a step deeper. Go further down that path. You don't compare a great quarterback and a violinist, right? You don't say the violinist is failing because he can't throw a football 70 yards. That's not something that you would say.

[00:25:16] They're playing different games. And we do that to ourselves. We will compare our incomes and businesses and bodies and marriage and houses and careers and all of that. We're always comparing scoreboards. But the truth is that we should be asking ourselves, why am I not like that person? What comes naturally to me that doesn't come naturally to them?

[00:25:45] What comes naturally to them and maybe not for me? And that's why you can't do surface level stuff because you don't know enough. You don't have enough data to understand. You can't look at somebody from afar and make that judgment. Why do they stay focused and you lose track of time all the time? You know, a lot of questions. A lot of questions to get there.

[00:26:10] I think that your responsibility is to build maybe a better model for your life. Identify your gift. Identify your weakness. Understand that you need to build a system around you. And then spend a lot of time developing the areas where you have an advantage. Doesn't mean ignoring your weaknesses, but where do you have an advantage?

[00:26:40] Know that we are not all created equal. In all areas. Once you know that, you're going to be put into a position of where you really, really feel more comfortable, excited.

[00:26:54] And you'll know that because of this, it's up to you to find that next area of growth and opportunity. So, I might do another podcast on this. I only wanted to go, you know, 20 minutes. I'm already almost to 30. I appreciate you so much.

[00:27:23] And as always, stay curious.