Success is Anything but Predictable

[00:00:01] Welcome to Business Finance and Soul. My name is Shaun Enders and I'm a curious entrepreneur.

[00:00:07] I love exploring business, personal finance and consciousness.

[00:00:11] I'll jump around topics, offer my opinions and occasionally interviewing interesting people.

[00:00:17] Looking forward to going on this journey. Let's be curious together.

[00:00:30] So today we are going to talk about success and this idea of success in life, business, personal finance.

[00:00:43] I mean there's just so many areas where I think the expectation and the reality are different at times.

[00:00:53] This is expect that life and success ascends or moves in the straight line

[00:01:01] that it actually makes sense.

[00:01:04] Because fear really creeps in when we think about the actual reality of success.

[00:01:13] The reality of success is things are top-seach-ervey, right?

[00:01:19] They do not move in a straight line. This is true for personal finance, this is true for the growth of relationships,

[00:01:29] whether or not it's business or personal.

[00:01:33] I've been in personal relationship with my wife for 25 years.

[00:01:39] And I can tell you our relationship has never been a straight line.

[00:01:44] There's been times where it's been super easy.

[00:01:46] And then there's been times when it's been much more difficult, raising a family and growing individually throughout lives while also growing together.

[00:01:57] So none of that has been in this kind of predictable ascent where I just look at it and go, yeah, that just makes perfect sense.

[00:02:06] That's the way I would have charted it.

[00:02:08] But in our minds, the way that we see things is from an exterior perspective.

[00:02:17] Because when we look at other people that have achieved what we want and I would say that is most prevalent in life,

[00:02:26] we may not compare ourselves, it's not healthy to do that.

[00:02:29] But we can look and we can model, we can say hey that person in life whoever that is, we've all got different people that we model and look up to.

[00:02:38] But we all should look up to somebody.

[00:02:41] And when we look, we're looking from the outside end.

[00:02:44] And so when you do that and you see someone climbing, you're seeing the outsiders perspective, you're not seeing the inner turmoil,

[00:02:53] you're not seeing the setbacks financially or emotionally.

[00:02:57] You're just seeing the outsiders perspective and the way that their path seems to go has been kind of in this, this perfect straight line.

[00:03:07] Seeing is true in business when we look at other companies that have achieved results that we want.

[00:03:14] We don't see the inner conflict, we don't see the fighting, the lost business deals, the turnover, we don't see any of that.

[00:03:25] We see, and we see charts and the struggle which is inevitable is not something that is evident to us from the outside looking in.

[00:03:39] And so when we look at our lives, we have to prepare for that.

[00:03:43] We have to think about what does what does success really, what's it going to look like for me and am I prepared for that?

[00:03:55] And so there's so many sayings.

[00:04:00] I love one of them is when you're going through hell just keep going.

[00:04:06] There's actually a country song with with those lyrics also, but the reason that people say that is because when you go through tough times,

[00:04:15] the best thing you can do is just continue on your path because there's no way it's going to always be green pastures.

[00:04:24] There's no way that life works out like that.

[00:04:27] And I was thinking, gosh, if we can look at personal finance as investors and you go back,

[00:04:38] I would love for you to just take a moment and actually, I looked at the 100 year historical chart for the Dow Jones.

[00:04:47] And I thought, you know, this is a good place to start. Let's just look at how erratic things have been, how unpredictable things have been for the stock market.

[00:05:01] And you go back to 1915 and the swings are crazy, right? It's not anywhere close to a predictable path.

[00:05:12] Yet we know over the long term, we should slowly steadily climb.

[00:05:20] And this is our lives also. You know, over the long term we should have more good days than bad.

[00:05:29] We should prepare for those bad days they are going to happen and I want to highlight a few years in the Dow Jones right?

[00:06:09] I think it's kind of stabilized a little bit. Yeah, two more years of positive gains and then a year of negative but that year of negative was only 2%.

[00:06:18] And then it goes on a tear, right? The the the the the Roar and 20s if you remember that era where it's 26% 25% 4% 27% almost 50% gains and in four years of just chaos 17% 33 52 23%

[00:06:38] So at this point you're thinking it's the end of the world, it's the depression, you know, obviously we know the history and if you look at this chart, you see we bounce back only to fall back again.

[00:06:53] And it continues on and on and on until we get into closer present day where we've had similar swings. So if we look at personal finance, we should expect these years where you are going to experience losses. You are going to see your 401k or your investment accounts decline.

[00:07:16] And this is acceptable and as long as you don't pay at it, like Warren Buffett says, you know, you only lose when you sell, you know, in the market, it's down.

[00:07:28] As long as you're panicked, conventional wisdom tells you that there are brighter days ahead. And so we get this in personal finance, it's facts, it's data, it's there to support the story that success is not a straight line. So why would we expect it in raising our kids?

[00:07:49] Why would we expect friendships to always be, you know, smooth sailing? Why would we expect our spousal relationships to always be exciting and not have conflict?

[00:08:06] Why would we expect in business, our employees or colleagues or our bosses to just always be a pleasure to work with?

[00:08:16] Conflict and swings of moods and financial gains and losses should be ached into the way that we see and interact with the world.

[00:08:32] And we need to get comfortable in that space. We need to get comfortable in understanding that this is part of that journey and when you look from the outside into someone else's life, you need to understand, it's as hard because you're not living their lives. You don't understand, you know,

[00:08:55] you can't really get in touch with what you're doing. But you need to understand that they are going through it, that their rise, their success is just like yours.

[00:09:10] If you know about them and you're looking up to this individual, maybe their gains are bigger.

[00:09:17] One company in the S&P 500 or the Dow Jones can grow much larger than another company but the point is that the volatility is still going to be there internally. It's how it's managed. It's how you mitigate.

[00:09:36] But you plan for it. You have these contingency plans where you know, okay, this is going to happen. And so the best prepared in life, our contingency plans, you know, for me and my relationship, I know that there will be times where, you know, I put my foot in my mouth, I screw up.

[00:09:55] I forget something important. I treat somebody with, you know, I treat them in not the way that they deserve to be treated whether or not that's again my kids, my wife or friends.

[00:10:11] A lot of times it's not intentional, it's just I'm human. But I plan for that. I know that I'm going to mess up and I'm prepared to accept that and try to get better.

[00:10:26] And if business when we look at how we operate both in the way that we show up as employees or the way that we run a company, or the way that we manage our staff is we have to understand that there is no straight line to success there.

[00:10:46] And that there are going to be a lot of mess ups along the way. It's messy, you know, that the path to success is messy. It is to be expected that it will not be exactly the way that you were hoping and that's okay.

[00:11:11] It doesn't mean that you're on the wrong path. That just means that you are on the normal path that we're all on, which make sure we're in a place where we accept this. I was actually I was looking up.

[00:11:33] I was really fascinated. You know, I love hearing stories about you know global figures, you know, coming.

[00:11:42] When people think of big names like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk or you know, Edison, you know, you've read their books or you've at least had access to their biographies and you know that Edison famously failed thousands of times before you know successfully inventing a practical electric light bulb.

[00:12:09] You know that you know that he paid fee-faced personal and financial difficulties. You can't know how terrible that was for him, but you can hear the story.

[00:12:22] You know that it was topsy-turvy, right? You know that there was twists and surprises. One story that caught me was Vera Went. And you know I've always heard as a man I've heard that there's clearly a large price tag if you were to get up Vera Went dress for a wedding.

[00:12:44] But I really know her story. I didn't know that she was actually originally a competitive figure skater when she started out and she transitioned over to journalism after she failed to make the US Olympic team.

[00:12:59] So I think about that for just a minute, you know, before I go into the next part of her life. She transitioned to a different career. Now we knew that she wouldn't she knew I'm sure that she was always going to be a competitive figure skater.

[00:13:14] That is not for the age aging, right? It's a youthful sport. And if you've ever watched the US Olympic team, I mean there's like kids, right? 14, 15 years old that are making the Olympic team. Anyways, she didn't make the Olympic team.

[00:13:38] So right off the bat, one dream completely taken away. And you know she worked hard for that. And then she went over to Vogue, which you know she had a successful career 17 years as an editor and then eventually become an senior fashion fashion editor.

[00:14:00] But then she was passed over for the editor in chief position. And you know if she didn't get that job, she went and worked for Ralph Lauren and then she at 40 launched her bridal line.

[00:14:20] And now you know we know that she does iconic wedding gowns. But if you think about that, her career paths were very can there were non-linear.

[00:14:32] Right? And it is so possible to continuously reinvent yourself after setbacks.

[00:14:40] And when she wouldn't had, had she gotten exactly what she wanted. She wouldn't have most likely I can't know but one would assume that she wouldn't be where she is.

[00:14:55] At 40, she wouldn't have launched her own bridal line. Had she gotten the editor in chief position at Vogue.

[00:15:02] Because that job would have demanded a lot from her. She probably would have been playing out her dream and living exactly what she wanted.

[00:15:12] But that's the funny part about life. It's not linear. It doesn't work like that. There are times when we just don't get what we want.

[00:15:21] And that setback is the setup for us. I love, I love that line because you know you have to remember and repeat it to yourself when you get the setback. When you lose the deal somebody tells you no, you don't get the permission. You don't get the raise. The client says, going with a different vendor whatever the case may be.

[00:15:44] That setback is a potential setup. We don't know which one it's going to be. Not everybody that gets fired goes on to do great things.

[00:15:51] But the ones who understand that success isn't this, you know, predictable straight line. They seem to persevere.

[00:16:05] You know, the ones that actually have this built in persistence seem to persevere because they go, you know what I get it. I get it.

[00:16:17] You know, I want to play at a high level and so losing is part of the game.

[00:16:23] And if you map out your own life, if you really take a moment, you know, you draw a circle on a piece of paper.

[00:16:34] And write the age where you were first aware, where you're cautiously aware of like goals and dreams.

[00:16:44] Okay? And connect another line to the next circle of where you went, meaning like maybe your first thought was I'm going to get into this college.

[00:17:03] And maybe you did get into that college. Awesome. Or I'm going to get this job and maybe you did or maybe you didn't, but as you continue down the path of milestones and I know you've had many if if you're living life there's we've all had milestones whatever they are don't compare him to somebody else's muscles or your milestones.

[00:17:25] But if you continue to make these little circles of milestones in your life.

[00:17:31] That are both good and bad. Remember, you can't you have to take the nose too as milestones because they they shape you those knows those losses or milestones. You know, somebody hits a game winning home run off of you as the picture milestone.

[00:17:51] Not the one that you would normally celebrate, but for your life in terms of how you felt what you took away from it. The feelings you absorbed was a milestone.

[00:18:01] And if you looked at all of those and you mapped it out there's no way that there aren't ups and downs.

[00:18:11] And if you judged yourself just in the snapshots of the moments when you're down.

[00:18:18] Then you really miss out on all the rest of the way the story unfolds. That's why I looked at the Dow Jones and you go back a hundred years and you go.

[00:18:31] Wow. Like if you just looked at the great depression four years of double digit losses in the market. Yeah, yeah it's horrible. The financial world is coming to an end.

[00:18:46] But that is in the way life is you pan out. You take a macro view and you see that there's more to that story.

[00:18:55] The texture changes and your life is no different. So I did podcast two weeks ago that when the chips are down and I felt like this was a bit of a follow up in my mind in terms of, you know, the way we see success.

[00:19:11] And the snapshots and the way we view others and their journey, especially important with social media right now, especially important with access to all the information that we have. We have a lot of information right we've got a lot of insight into how others are behaving.

[00:19:36] We don't get the whole story for sure not we get a curated story. We get a snapshot of a moment in time or something positive something that we'd be proud of putting out there in social and you know companies do the same people do the same and so we see that and then we assume that life.

[00:20:03] Business personal finance people are people are always winning and it's just not true. So that's today. That's today thinking about taking a step back thinking about I know I am and I wanted you to think about the trajectory of your own life.

[00:20:26] The trajectory of somebody super accomplished with a global name like virrowing.

[00:20:34] You know Thomas Edison I mean come on. These guys are you know just in the same scenarios ourselves right on a maybe a bigger stage because of.

[00:20:51] You know what they're influencing but the battles are the same. I think that's really cool. I think that the that's what connects humanity is that at every level.

[00:21:02] The doubts and the fears and the insecurities are all the same and that connective tissue is important to remember when you're going after the next thing in your life.

[00:21:20] Remember there's one certainty and I want to be cliche about this but there's one certainty and that's uncertainty. You know I have to say it as a reminder.

[00:21:32] So until next time stay curious. Stay hungry and stay positive. We'll talk soon.