When The Chips Are Down

[00:00:00] Welcome to Business Finance and Soul. My name is Shaun Enders and I'm a curious entrepreneur.

[00:00:07] I love exploring business, personal finance and consciousness. I'll jump around topics,

[00:00:13] offer my opinions and occasionally interview interesting people. Looking forward to going

[00:00:19] on this journey. Let's be curious together.

[00:00:30] Welcome back to Business Finance and Soul. I want to start by saying thank you.

[00:00:34] Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening and thank you for sharing with friends or family

[00:00:41] or individuals that you feel can benefit from the messages that I put out there.

[00:00:48] So, thank you. I appreciate you.

[00:00:50] And today I am covering something that is actually happening in real time for me.

[00:00:57] I'm calling this one when the chips are down. And this is just what do you do when you get bad news?

[00:01:04] So, today I wrote down some steps that I want to focus on because I did get some bad news.

[00:01:10] I got business bad news which I hate. Losing, not necessarily a full client but I'm losing

[00:01:18] a lot of billable hours out at a client and it's frustrating.

[00:01:23] And so, I'm starting with just really acknowledging my feelings about that.

[00:01:28] That I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that the communication has been horrible from this client,

[00:01:34] borderline unethical and the way that I'm receiving this news has been less than desirable.

[00:01:43] And I don't know if you can relate. I don't know if you've been in a scenario either in your personal

[00:01:47] or business life where you just feel like it's wrong.

[00:01:52] The way that you're receiving the news is wrong. The way that you are being engaged with is wrong.

[00:01:58] And I don't know. I can't be completely frustrated by this on my personal life because it is just business.

[00:02:08] I get it. That statement of like, well, it's not personal, it's just business.

[00:02:11] But my business is my personal and that's very frustrating for me.

[00:02:17] So I thought, you know what? I gotta record an episode. I gotta put this out there because this is cathartic for me

[00:02:23] and hopefully it hits a point in your life where you've either experienced something or you are experiencing this

[00:02:29] and you're like, you know what? I need to hear that right now.

[00:02:32] So I put a few points together where I said, well, what's my journey gonna be like to get me back

[00:02:38] to a state of where I'm feeling good, energetic, optimistic because, you know, it's easy to get dark.

[00:02:47] It's easy to be frustrated and have that frustration turn into disappointment and sadness.

[00:02:54] And I think when you go through it, the first step for me is just acknowledging those feelings

[00:03:00] that it's okay to feel that.

[00:03:02] And, you know, the second step is reaching out for support.

[00:03:07] And this is something where it's like, it's good to have friendships and it's good to have a relationship with either mentors

[00:03:14] or even just with your spouse where you actually both can lean on each other and talk about things truthfully

[00:03:21] where you don't have just a friend group where everything has to be built on just overly positive vibes

[00:03:29] where how are things going in your life? Great, how are things going in your life? Great.

[00:03:33] They're not always gonna be great and you want to have, you know, a friend circle

[00:03:38] or members in your family where you actually can say, it's not going great. Here's what's happening.

[00:03:45] And so reaching out for support is hugely important.

[00:03:49] I actually going through this news is frustrating.

[00:03:51] I'm going through it last week and even spilled into today, which I was kind of hoping it was done on Friday,

[00:03:57] but it spills into today. And I'm just, I'm grateful that I have a coffee meetup with a good friend of mine

[00:04:07] and another CEO in just, I want to be vulnerable, talk about what I'm going through

[00:04:14] and maybe strategize on how to turn a corner because I don't have all the answers right now.

[00:04:19] So if step one is acknowledging your feelings and really honoring those feelings,

[00:04:23] step two is find some support, you know, find someone that you can reach out to

[00:04:29] and talk about what's going on and be honest, be vulnerable. It's not gonna last forever.

[00:04:35] You know, this isn't an indictment on you or how you handle things or your personality

[00:04:41] or how you are in business. It's just, it's a scenario. It's a situation.

[00:04:44] It's something that you have to go through.

[00:04:47] Step three, I'm going to focus on what I can control.

[00:04:50] You know, this is probably the easiest part is in difficult times.

[00:04:57] If you can just focus on the aspects of your life that you can actually influence and really focus on taking little steps towards getting things more optimized.

[00:05:13] It's going to help reduce the feelings of helplessness.

[00:05:16] And I think that's big for me when this is happening, when I'm getting bad news, I can feel like my world spinning.

[00:05:24] You know, that's partly my brain in general. I think, you know, I probably have a little bit of ADD.

[00:05:31] And so for me, I'm always spinning. I've always got ideas and things happening

[00:05:37] and things seem much more pronounced in my life. So sometimes when it's bad news,

[00:05:43] it can feel like the world's kind of coming in on me.

[00:05:46] And so I feel that sense of helplessness like where will I go? What will I do? This is it.

[00:05:51] This is the end. And it's not, you know, nothing is right until it is.

[00:05:59] But I mean in life as you're facing things, it's not the end.

[00:06:05] And so feeling that helplessness, what do you do? You got to focus on things you can control.

[00:06:10] Now sometimes it can be in business. You can go back and get to the basics of what you need to do.

[00:06:15] Other times it might be just I can really take control of taking a walk.

[00:06:21] I'm going to walk my dog. I'm going to go to the gym. If there's a beach close by, I'm going to go walk it.

[00:06:27] For me, I love to ride motorcycles. Maybe I'm going to take a short motorcycle ride and just control the bike

[00:06:36] and feel a sense of distraction from what's happening.

[00:06:42] So focus on what you can control. And then the next step for me is going to be setting a small achievable goal.

[00:06:51] So when I start to feel a little bit overwhelmed, I need to break down things into just really action items.

[00:06:59] So I'm going to say, gosh, I can do this. And after I achieve about two or three of these action items,

[00:07:07] I make them kind of small and make them something that I can I can do quickly.

[00:07:12] I start to feel a little bit more accomplished. You know, I start to feel a little bit

[00:07:20] like I'm less in that spin of where the whole world's crumbling. And I'm more in like, OK, I got this right.

[00:07:28] You know, I've got some momentum here. I can build off this. And so I don't know if it's just me.

[00:07:34] I know it's not just me. I'm going to say it like that. But the reality of it is it feels like it's just me sometimes.

[00:07:39] But I need to have structure and a game plan to bounce back pretty quickly.

[00:07:47] I don't want to stay in a depressed mood when I experience a loss. And I run a company in a very competitive business.

[00:07:55] So we hear a lot of nos and we experience losses on a regular basis.

[00:08:01] And so because of that, I think I've become an expert over 25 years of how do you bounce back?

[00:08:09] But I can tell you it never just seems to get easier. Like I don't ever feel like, oh, no big deal.

[00:08:16] It's not easier. But the steps in what I've developed have become more sophisticated, better, more streamlined.

[00:08:24] Like I'm not grasping for these ideas anymore. I know what works.

[00:08:30] I know that I'm going to acknowledge my feelings. I know I'm going to have a support system.

[00:08:34] I know that I'm going to focus on what I can control in this in this moment.

[00:08:38] I know that I'm going to hit some small goal, something that I can actually check a box and go, yeah, that feels good.

[00:08:46] I don't even care. Some days it's just like pick up the garage or do dishes.

[00:08:51] I'm not even saying something amazing. You know, sometimes it's clean up my room just because I just want to feel like I'm checking a box.

[00:09:00] Like I'm actually making a move in the right direction.

[00:09:04] And then the next thing is self care. You know, I really can't stress this enough because I think it's easy to get further into a thought process that isn't healthy.

[00:09:19] And so self care can mean anything whether or not that's like go book a quick massage.

[00:09:24] You know, like I talked about taking a walk or you know getting around nature for me riding a motorcycle. That's good.

[00:09:33] But if none of that is for you, you know, getting a massage. If you if you like getting manicures or pedicures and that's your thing.

[00:09:44] If if it's sound bowl healing, you know, meditation, something get into that self care where it's just man it changes the state of you and get into gratitude.

[00:09:58] You know, gratitude has helped me quite a bit because I think it really puts things into perspective really fast.

[00:10:10] You know that what you have built already in your life. I don't care where you want to go. I know you want to get somewhere bigger.

[00:10:17] I know you want that next thing we all do. I know you want to keep accomplishing.

[00:10:23] But what do you have right now in your life? What can you look around and say at one point this wasn't even a reality.

[00:10:33] Are you driving a car right now that you wish you had that car? Do you have shoes on that at one point you thought it would have been cool to have these shoes.

[00:10:41] You know, do you have a house or an apartment that you're like, man, at one point this was the thing I wanted. Of course you do.

[00:10:50] Of course you have that because you manifest your reality right so you wanted these things. So be grateful for those.

[00:10:58] And that's I'm forceful with myself in that space. I really have to go back to, you know, being grateful for what I have right now because all the things around me at one point.

[00:11:09] I thought having these things, these feelings surrounding these things was going to be a pinnacle moment for me.

[00:11:20] And it probably was all this stuff. I felt like, you know, not just things, I'm saying things.

[00:11:26] I mean, you can go, of course I'm grateful for my family. You know, I'm grateful for the life that I've created with friendships.

[00:11:34] But sometimes just looking around and saying, well, what do I have right around me? Right. Those are big things.

[00:11:42] Those don't feel like moment to moment decisions. Right, like starting my family was kind of an event, not just a, okay, we're just going to do this and now it's that.

[00:11:52] You know, but looking around and going, gosh, what have you created based through acquisition that started with just you saying that's what you wanted?

[00:12:03] And then I can be grateful for that. And so there's mindfulness techniques that really go to that point of getting you back to present moment and reflection.

[00:12:21] And I think that that's huge. You know, I have a routine in my life. I have something that creates stability and, you know, amidst a lot of chaos between, you know, running the company and creating ideas for this podcast or recording this podcast and trying to be there for my kids,

[00:12:46] coaching for my kids and trying to be a great dad and husband and friends and family member, brother and son. I want to be all those things. So I need a routine in order to be all that.

[00:13:04] I need to make sure I understand what my day looks like. And I reflect on that when I go through these moments. I look at my routine and say, am I happy with this?

[00:13:16] So in the midst of this time of where the chips are down for me, you know, I know that this is a moment where I have to go, gosh, this affects the wallet.

[00:13:30] This is frustrating. I don't like the way that it's unfolding. I'm going to go through these steps and I'll repeat them again because they're important, but it's a moment to reevaluate.

[00:13:45] Make sure that you are on the path. And that's why I say look at your routine. Make sure you're happy with it. Look at your day, because if things are just flying it in, you're just handling them.

[00:13:56] You know, you're going to continue to stay overwhelmed. You're not going to be able to do all the rest of this because your routine isn't built for it. So this is your moment.

[00:14:04] If you're experiencing a challenge, this is your moment to recalibrate. So step one, acknowledge your feelings. Okay, step two, reach out for support. Talk to someone.

[00:14:18] Focus on what you can control. Step three, really look at the things that are cause and effect moments and items.

[00:14:27] Step four, set some small goals, something that you can check off. Again, even getting the dishes done, even cleaning the closet, getting into the garage, tackling a little bit of that.

[00:14:41] Something that you can check off. Feel good. Step five, self-care. You know, get that physical activity going. Get a massage. Do something that feels good.

[00:14:52] Step six, be grateful for where you're at, for what you've built, for what you have. Reflect journal on it. Write it down. Look at it.

[00:15:06] You know, I can guarantee it's going to help you reduce stress. I can guarantee looking at that will make you feel different and you will be happy with where you're already at.

[00:15:21] And step seven, look at your routine. If you don't have a routine, get a routine.

[00:15:29] You already have probably a default routine, but if you don't have a very intentional routine for managing the way that you live right now, put it in place.

[00:15:39] Now feel good about that. Look at your routine and go, is this, am I on the right path? Because sometimes this is important.

[00:15:48] Sometimes crisis comes into your life to create this opportunity. Remember, I did a podcast on this, Opportunity in a Crisis.

[00:15:59] Okay? And I took that from kind of an investment perspective, but in life sometimes you get bumped to set you on a new path.

[00:16:07] Yeah. And so I look at my routine and I go, gosh, do I like this? Do I want to rebuild and find another client to replace this one?

[00:16:17] Hmm. Well, I don't know if I want to find the exact type of client. What am I learning from this? Huh.

[00:16:24] So looking at that and doing kind of this analysis allows me as I look at my routine, as I look at what I'm about to embark upon and I go, yeah, am I on the right path?

[00:16:37] So take this moment when the chips are down, when you get this bad news to reflect in another way also.

[00:16:47] You know, make sure that this is the path for you, that you are in fact happy with, you know, what the next step is going to look like.

[00:16:56] And then take action. Go after it. Do all these things.

[00:17:02] I hope that you're only experiencing 10 out of 10 days right now. I hope that everything is just really clicking for you.

[00:17:11] But if it's not, if you are experiencing a moment of crisis, if you are in that space where you say, yeah, the chips are down,

[00:17:23] then I hope we can share some of this energy and you're able to quickly get back into a space where you feel understood.

[00:17:36] You understand why what's, why this is happening in your life and you're able to come out on the other side stronger, better and until next time.

[00:17:47] Stay curious and enjoy your days.