Teaching Through Discipline

[00:00:01] Welcome to Business Finance and Soul, my name is Shaun Enders and I'm a curious entrepreneur. I love exploring business, personal finance and consciousness. I'll jump around topics, offer my opinions and occasionally interviewing interesting people. Looking forward to going on this journey. Let's be curious together.

[00:00:21] Welcome back to Business Finance and Soul. Thank you so much for joining me. I have had back to back to back guests on and I hope you've been enjoying

[00:00:33] of their messages. I know I have, it's been really cool to connect with just so many fascinating people doing really exciting things. The different perspectives are phenomenal.

[00:00:47] I enjoy, you know, a mindset of each one of the individuals that I've met with in the last month and a half Surrounding financial independence, surrounding really financial energy and the way that each one sees the world. It's kind of very pragmatic in taking steps and being systematic.

[00:01:14] But at the same time, having the right mindset in how they approach their lives has been a common thread. And that's really cool. It's cool to see people who struggle but have been able to well that fear, that limiting belief,

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[00:01:53] Today, I think it's a great opportunity to jump into something that is near and dear to me this subject because I've been both a boss and a mentor and I'm a father of two awesome kids. And we're going to talk about discipline.

[00:02:18] You know, I want to explore the concept of discipline and really more of its roots where that word came from. I think where the intention came from because the roots are in teaching discipline at its very core comes from teaching.

[00:02:37] I'll explain that in a moment, because I think that discipline for a while was really getting a bad rap from a parental perspective. Right? You know how you discipline your child discipline had this kind of negative connotation, almost a dark cloud.

[00:02:54] Although we all knew inherently and know inherently that discipline and discipline in your kids is what's necessary for them to have structure and for them to learn. There's been a lot of questions on like, well, how do you discipline?

[00:03:14] Right? You know, I think we've that's evolved over the years from like physical punishment and worse.

[00:03:22] And so we, that's evolved to say, okay, what how are we actually using this to teach? So let's look at the roots of discipline because I looked this up because I was like, gosh.

[00:03:36] Discipline to me and my personal life without anybody disciplining me, you know, to me I have personal agency over my own personal discipline, you know, which is structure, which is

[00:03:54] I'm staying true to my goals and my core values, and I stay disciplined to those. But really the Latin word for discipline is discipline, which means instruction or knowledge.

[00:04:13] And if you go back further from there, it's really derived from a word, uh, discipline, which means student or pupil. So you can see that the origin of the actual word, what it was meant to be where it's fundamentally about teaching and guiding.

[00:04:34] And that's what I want to talk about today because I think that all of us when we are disciplining someone, whether it's in the workplace or in our households, we are going into that with the mindset of teaching or guiding.

[00:04:57] I think that that's the intention, that should be at the core. And that's good, that's healthy. That's where the word was born from, which is very encouraging because it shows us that, you know, we have for thousands of years, thought about how do we guide and correct the ones that we want to pour into.

[00:05:24] And you know what we're talking about discipline and again, whether or not it's our kids or employees, it's all about imparting knowledge and helping them grow.

[00:05:34] And I think what's happened is people who have done it in a very unhealthy way have given it a bad rap, you know, because it's not about punishment or enforcing rules.

[00:05:43] It's about creating a learning environment and when you go into things from that mindset, you can't, you can't help but to come out with a very positive, very progressive outcome.

[00:06:00] You know, for our kids discipline really means setting boundaries that help them understand the consequences of their actions. And we want to help them learn self control. Because it's crucial to be consistent and explain the reasons behind the rules.

[00:06:19] Like where are the rules coming from? I know for me, I was very curious child. I wanted to know why we were doing what we were doing and different areas have supported that question in different ways.

[00:06:34] You know, I was just on the cost of, you know, because I said so era, right? You know, my mom was probably even in a different area back in the 50s and going into the 60s. That wasn't really an area where we're, you know, discipline was felt collaborative.

[00:06:53] You certainly weren't questioning, you know, the authority figures in your life. In my era 70s 80s, you could get away with a little bit more and certainly now with my kids.

[00:07:06] It feels much more collaborative that feels like they're more part of the family unit in how we make decisions. Ultimately, I am the decision maker and I'm responsible.

[00:07:14] But I feel like we're collaborating, you know, if our daughter son knows that hey, eight or nine p.m., you know, it's, it's bedtime. Well, we talk about that because it's a good night's sleep, right? Because sleep helps them focus better in school.

[00:07:34] And we talk about what that means rather than, you know, just because I said so and if you come out of your room, I'm going to what teach you a lesson discipline you should be about learning, should be about talking about, you know, why your brain needs

[00:07:51] Ex amount of hours to recharge and to give you the optimal performance for the next day for you to feel great and to be in a good mood and want to go to school.

[00:08:01] So I think it's really about creating a connection between the discipline and the positive outcomes.

[00:08:09] And if you can do that when you do have to discipline your child, you're doing it from a place where they know inherently that you're really trying to teach a lesson that you really are showcasing the way their behavior fits into the overall structure of not only your house but society.

[00:08:31] And what I think about the workplace and I manage employees and so whether or not you're on one side where you manage people or if you are someone who isn't an management or leadership position, but you are being managed.

[00:08:46] These same principles apply, you know, because when you're disciplining employees or you're being disciplined, it should be seen as an opportunity to provide feedback and support for their professional development. You know, managers, leaders should approach discipline as a coaching moment.

[00:09:07] And so instead of just leaning out what someone's done wrong, you have this opportunity where you can discuss, you know, hey, how can things be improved? How can we help you level up to help develop their skills?

[00:09:22] Just last week, I had a conversation with an individual that you know really needed some coaching and the way I looked at it is there was one of two ways.

[00:09:37] This could go. It could go with more disciplinary action. This is your job. You will do it. This is what you're paid to do.

[00:09:46] And although I'm not wrong, I don't think that gets us anywhere. Or I could take a different approach which is making sure that we understand what are the values, where are we going as a team?

[00:10:00] What did they commit to in the former quarter and where do we need to be? And that doesn't mean going soft on the employee, but that means is clear communication in them understanding what their commitments were.

[00:10:19] Where we are and where they fall in short and what happens if we look 30 days out and we can't course correct. You know, that's where discipline is framed and structured in a way to where it's progressive.

[00:10:37] To where we all working together but guess what sometimes the outcome isn't what everyone wants. You know, when you have to fire somebody, those things happen. I'm not saying that we won't get there as leaders, but I don't think someone should be surprised.

[00:11:01] I don't think that it seemed out of line. I don't think someone should just question what you're doing.

[00:11:08] I think the discipline, it comes from a place of, hey, you understand this is where we have to be. You understand this. This is why I'm doing this and regardless of which side of the table you're on. We're not questioning the fact that it's happening.

[00:11:29] So as leaders, we have this great opportunity to say hey. The workplace doesn't have to be disciplined free. People can't just run and do anything that they want.

[00:11:43] But we also don't want to run our businesses or our divisions in a way that creates fear or it creates an opportunity where people don't share. They don't feel safe. They're not sure what's going to be right around the corner for them.

[00:12:04] And so then you lack collaboration, you lack creativity and you certainly lack communication in the department. A lot of things go sideways. And in the end, things always fall apart in those types of departments. And for certain those types of companies. So if an employee misses a deadline,

[00:12:26] the manager, you as a leader, you just to help them identify the time management strategies. You set clear goals for the future and you create that context that involves empathy and a commitment to helping another succeed.

[00:12:45] But we don't not follow through. We just have clear expectations. We just work together. And we help the ones that are in a position to be helped, we help guide them towards better choices, more productive behavior.

[00:13:04] You know, open communication is so key. And whether it's with your kids or employees, you know, regular check-ins, feedback sessions. They're going to help you understand all of this before things escalate and you start to use discipline as kind of where it had been going for a while,

[00:13:28] where it is going of where it's negative, you know, all of a sudden, I was disciplined. What's that mean? I was written up. What does that mean? Did you learn anything from it?

[00:13:42] It's, it can't be just about punishment. Discipline cannot be tied to punishment. That is at the essence of the word. It's about teaching. It's about coaching. And when it becomes about punishment, we've gone too far away from the original idea, the essence of it.

[00:14:12] And I think we need to recognize and reward, you know, the positive behavior. Whether again, I'm going to use this in a dual context right in our houses and in our workplace.

[00:14:28] It's just, it's not about just correcting mistakes, but it's about celebrating the success. And continue to think about the nurturing of growth and learning and really looking at the environment that you have and saying,

[00:14:46] have we created the environment where people can thrive? Have we looked at correcting our staff in a way where we've got high collaboration and we've got high buy-end. People are excited. They're genuinely understanding when we do discipline that everyone is coming out better and stronger.

[00:15:11] Ego's are checked at the door. We're not attacking character. We're not saying you as a person or wrong. We're saying this situation, this decision, this action can be better served in a different way.

[00:15:28] So I hope you take this opportunity, again, whether you're a parent, whether you're a leader, whether you're an employee. To think about discipline, to think about the necessity in our life of discipline.

[00:15:43] We need to be disciplined when we go off course. We want to be shown an alternative way, a way to progress.

[00:15:55] We need people who hold us accountable and we need to hold others accountable, and it really positive progressive way. The better we get it this, the better our kids are with others.

[00:16:07] The more they trust us, we'll be provide feedback. Not need your reaction, not yelling for no reason and not because I said so. Sorry, you gotta be better than that. You're gonna have to level up. If that's your idea of getting somebody to do something, it is certainly a temporary resolution. It has no staying power.

[00:16:29] But if you're in a space of where we're like, hey, we're gonna have better kids and we're gonna have better employees. Discipline is going to be right in there, but it's going to be positive.

[00:16:44] It's going to be reinforcing the great behavior of the great actions. And it is going to be about teaching and guiding to higher levels. So that's a wrap. I appreciate you. I appreciate your interest in business finance and soul. And until next time, stay curious.