Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert?

[00:00:00] Welcome to Business Finance and Soul. My name is Shaun Enders and I'm a curious entrepreneur.

[00:00:07] I love exploring business, personal finance and consciousness. I'll jump around topics,

[00:00:13] often my opinions and occasionally interview interesting people. Looking forward to

[00:00:18] going on this journey. Let's be curious together.

[00:00:30] I'll go back to Business Finance and Soul. I'm Shaun Enders and today we are going to talk about introverts,

[00:00:37] extroverts and a word that you may not be as familiar with, ambiverts.

[00:00:43] But before I jump into things, I do want to ask for your support. If you're enjoying this podcast,

[00:00:49] please share it with a friend, leave a review, engage beyond just passively listening because

[00:00:57] that's what gets the show into more listeners' hands and the greater their awareness,

[00:01:04] the more we get to spread all of these great messages surrounding curiosity and our lives.

[00:01:11] So I appreciate you. I hope that everything that we've been putting out really resonates and hits home.

[00:01:17] So today talking about introverts, extroverts and ambiverts before I jump into things,

[00:01:26] I want to take a moment and really go over the most common descriptions of an introvert and an extrovert.

[00:01:33] And also describe what an ambivert is. And I think that the goal of this podcast today

[00:01:40] is to find out what's most fitting for you. How do you see yourself?

[00:01:45] And we'll talk about why that's important because it is important. These aren't just words,

[00:01:50] these aren't just descriptions, these actually have real life implications.

[00:01:54] So an introvert is someone who generally prefers solitary activities over engaging in large social gatherings.

[00:02:01] They'll often find energy in a long time rather than interacting with others.

[00:02:08] They may also have thoughtful reflective nature,

[00:02:13] might focus on internal feelings rather than external sources of stimulation.

[00:02:19] And really an introvert, this personality type, tends to process information much more deeply

[00:02:25] and is often a little bit more reserved. But not only shy, I think that's key.

[00:02:33] But maybe more reserved but not shy. Introverts can enjoy social interactions,

[00:02:38] but generally it prefer them in smaller, more intimate settings.

[00:02:44] So that's an introvert. We all know maybe you are one,

[00:02:48] but it's important to kind of take a moment and just get a general description

[00:02:54] that we can all agree upon. An extrovert, we've heard this a lot,

[00:02:59] is a person who tends to be more outgoing, socially confident, energized by interactions with others

[00:03:06] rather than spending time alone. Extroverts generally seek out social situations

[00:03:13] and feel invigorated by engaging in activities with groups of people.

[00:03:17] Extroverts are typically seen as expressive, assertive, quick-to-form connections with others

[00:03:23] and they thrive in environments where they can interact, communicate,

[00:03:27] and be part of a dynamic social setting.

[00:03:31] So when I think about how I show up in life, I feel like I've often been perceived

[00:03:37] as kind of that token extrovert. I engage in conversation,

[00:03:41] I've never found myself comfortable with being a wallflower

[00:03:44] and spending a lot of times in social settings.

[00:03:50] It's been part of my life, it's been part of the fabric of who I've been known to be.

[00:03:58] And along with me and a assertive person, I'm also quick-to-form connections

[00:04:04] and I kind of seemingly fit perfect for the moniker of an extrovert.

[00:04:10] But truth be told, I do like my alone, then although I love people,

[00:04:15] I really hate crowds, actually. And I find small talk to pleats my energy.

[00:04:21] You know, you give me six friends, Max for a long meaningful conversation and I'm in all day.

[00:04:27] I enjoy quietly reading and I honestly don't mind watching movies alone.

[00:04:34] So that had me confused for a long time because I'm like,

[00:04:39] gosh, I really display a lot of signs of both an extrovert and an introvert.

[00:04:46] And this got me thinking because I had heard a lot of people describe themselves as both extroverted and introverted,

[00:04:54] depending on the time, maybe time at day or time of year, or what have you.

[00:05:01] But most people can kind of feel like they've been both.

[00:05:05] And that's what we're talking about Amberverts today.

[00:05:08] An Ambervert is someone who exhibits qualities of both the introversion and extroversion,

[00:05:13] kind of full rate in that middle spectrum.

[00:05:15] They can feel energized by social interactions in certain contexts but also relish this time alone to recharge.

[00:05:23] Amberverts are in fact adaptable, able to adjust their approach based on the situation or their environment.

[00:05:30] And that balance allows them to navigate social settings and also the solitary activities with ease.

[00:05:38] And that makes them much more versatile in managing their energy and their engagement with the world.

[00:05:43] And so I thought it's important to know how you draw energy in life.

[00:05:48] You know, what changes or better yet, what changes your state but also what charges you up.

[00:05:58] And what depletes your energy.

[00:06:00] And this is important because often we may feel like we should just enjoy a party where all of our friends are enjoying themselves.

[00:06:09] You know, we should be as excited as everyone else but we're not all the same.

[00:06:15] And I'm finding it interesting to watch my kids navigate this area of their life.

[00:06:22] As their dad, I have feelings and opinions about how they should engage in the world but I don't want to impose my beliefs.

[00:06:30] And you know, I think about it.

[00:06:34] It's been a lot easier for me to watch them grow and become their true selves as I've learned more about our personality types.

[00:06:46] In fact, if you have children or if you have a partner, I highly encourage you to take a personality test.

[00:06:53] For every all of you to take a personality test and discover your natural tendencies.

[00:06:58] It's super helpful.

[00:07:00] We've done this in our family.

[00:07:02] We have a good understanding of why each one of us shows up the way that we show it.

[00:07:08] Of course, there's the old conversation of nature, nurture.

[00:07:12] The both are true. You are born, we're certain attributes. We all know this.

[00:07:16] We are naturally inclined to do things and behave a certain way.

[00:07:20] And then also our outside stimuli.

[00:07:22] The way that we are, the families that were involved in the friends, careers that we've chosen.

[00:07:27] These are all things that are part of, you know, the nurturing part of our life.

[00:07:35] And so, this is why I encourage everyone to take a personality test and just understand a baseline of who you are from a natural biological space.

[00:07:48] But just starting with the big five personality traits, I wanted to discuss those.

[00:07:53] They're also known as the five factor model.

[00:07:56] And they represent a broad conceptualization of human personality.

[00:08:03] And they're pretty widely accepted in the psychological research space as capturing kind of arm-mean dimensions of variation in human personality.

[00:08:14] This might be deeper than you wanted to go, but I think it's important.

[00:08:19] And the reason is, it's important in our lives because the way that we interact with each other is at the forefront of the depth of our relationships, the satisfaction of our daily lives.

[00:08:36] And getting more comfortable in your own skin is step one in terms of living a fulfilled life.

[00:08:45] Knowing you are authentically you feels pretty amazing.

[00:08:51] And each trait represents a spectrum between two extremes.

[00:08:57] You know, individuals can fall anywhere along this spectrum for each one of these traits.

[00:09:03] And so the big five traits are number one, openness to experience.

[00:09:09] This trait features characteristics such as imagination, creativity, curiosity, and a willingness to try new things.

[00:09:18] And people who generally score high in openness are often open-minded and adventurous, whereas those who score low may be more traditional and resistant to change.

[00:09:31] And so this is fascinating because as we see, and there is a Harvard study, I've cited this in the past with some of my staff and people that I've interviewed,

[00:09:41] it turns out that you are actually born more curious or less curious.

[00:09:47] So there are kids who are just curious souls. They need to know things.

[00:09:53] And this goes right back to this trait, this openness to experience.

[00:09:57] If you are really high on this space, you're, you need to know more about the world.

[00:10:03] You've got to go try a bunch of new things and if you're low, you, you're really, you're fine.

[00:10:08] You like what you have.

[00:10:10] And it's important to know and honor that people are different in this space.

[00:10:14] This isn't just something that you could tell someone to get over it or to be more creative, to be more imaginary.

[00:10:23] Imagine it to have, excuse me.

[00:10:26] So I think that that is important to understand number one.

[00:10:31] Number two, conscientiousness.

[00:10:35] This dimension measures the level of organization, dependability, discipline and achievement-oriented behaviors.

[00:10:44] Highly conscientious individuals are reliable and efficient, carefully planning and executing all other tasks.

[00:10:54] But on the other end, those with lower scores might be more spontaneous and less detailed or anything.

[00:11:02] So where do you, where do you fall within this space of conscientiousness?

[00:11:08] Number three, extroversion.

[00:11:11] Extroversion is characterized by sociability.

[00:11:13] We've talked about this assertiveness, excitement, seeking, high levels of emotional expressiveness.

[00:11:19] Extroverts draw energy from being around others.

[00:11:22] Well, introverts, we as we've talked about, if you're lower on that scale,

[00:11:27] you're going to find the social gatherings, draining and prefer more solitary or intimate settings.

[00:11:33] And so that's something that I looked at for myself because I think it's confusing sometimes to say,

[00:11:42] why am I drained after something that should have been awesome on paper?

[00:11:47] Number four, of riabilness.

[00:11:50] This trait reflects a person's tendency towards altruism, trust, modesty and cooperatives.

[00:11:58] Individuals who score high in riabilness are typically friendly and compassionate,

[00:12:04] where those who score low are going to be maybe more competitive or skeptical of others' intentions.

[00:12:12] These are important to note because we all have people in our lives that fall in these spectrums.

[00:12:21] And we need to know an honor that they are where they are, because they are who they are.

[00:12:29] You know?

[00:12:31] If that makes any sense.

[00:12:34] Number five, neuroticism.

[00:12:37] Now, neuroticism measures the tendency toward emotional instability, anxiety, moodiness and irritability.

[00:12:46] People with high scores in neuroticism may experience stress and emotional ups and downs much more intensely than those with lower scores who tend to be more emotionally stable and resilient.

[00:13:01] And these traits are used really for a variety of purposes in psychology, including understanding, you know, personality differences and predicting even our life outcomes.

[00:13:14] That's important to note that the big five traits are not about pigeonholing any one of us into these fixed categories.

[00:13:24] But rather about understanding the broad dimensions of personality that can help explain, you know, the differences in our thoughts, our feelings, our behaviors.

[00:13:36] If you're a leader, this is important.

[00:13:39] If you manage people and you're motivated individuals towards goals.

[00:13:44] This is important. It's important to know that not one size fits all.

[00:13:49] And, you know, we know this inherently. But it's great to back it by science.

[00:13:54] It's great to reinforce through psychology.

[00:13:57] And if you're a parent, absolutely great to know that you're not crazy or your kids not crazy.

[00:14:03] You know, I think for me one of my challenges is overwhelmed.

[00:14:07] You know, I struggle in finding the right balance between social interaction and solitude.

[00:14:13] I find that it's just a right challenge because sometimes I want to be invited to the party.

[00:14:18] And then the day arrives, it's like the last place I want to be.

[00:14:22] That drives me nuts.

[00:14:25] I don't know why it exists.

[00:14:29] You know, I'll say, gosh, I want to be there with all my friends but then the thought of jumping from small talk to small talk,

[00:14:36] it's just too much. And I'd rather be on my couch.

[00:14:39] But truth be told, in those moments, I have to think past the present.

[00:14:45] So that's what's kind of interesting.

[00:14:48] You know, if I'm really depleted from the week or from the day, you know, I'll take some time out for myself.

[00:14:55] But if I know that's not the case, then it just might be artificial anxiety.

[00:15:01] And I think about all the great things that I get to learn about others and that I get to observe.

[00:15:07] And I know the following day, I'm not going to regret strengthening my connections with my friends.

[00:15:13] And or meeting new acquaintances.

[00:15:15] You know, so it's part of the process that I go through when trying to find out where I'm going to draw my energy.

[00:15:24] But I'm aware of myself. I'm aware of my reactions. I'm aware of my tendencies.

[00:15:31] So, like I said, you may ask yourself, what difference does this all make? You know, why even do the research?

[00:15:37] Well, for myself personally when I was younger, I didn't know why it would be overwhelmed.

[00:15:43] And so I would drink to take the HR.

[00:15:46] And in my 20s, I often didn't know how to balance that drinking and I would drink to excess.

[00:15:55] I feel horrible the next day.

[00:15:57] You know, not just physically but also who did I have to apologize to?

[00:16:03] You know, was I being my authentic self or some version of who I thought I needed to be?

[00:16:10] And you know, that took a toll on me.

[00:16:13] And it took a lot of self-reflection there to say, well, that's who I want to be.

[00:16:18] What's what? Why am I doing that? Why would I have to take a drink to take the edge off of a social interaction?

[00:16:25] Well, I later learned more about myself.

[00:16:29] And I found out that the new challenge became how can I stay engaged?

[00:16:35] How could I be interested? How can I show up and actually just have soda water?

[00:16:40] And so, that became kind of a cool endeavor for me, something where I was challenging myself to not just fall back on this crutch.

[00:16:50] You know, for your spousored kids perhaps you see them being uncomfortable and you really don't know them at the deepest level.

[00:16:57] You might even pressure them to just get over it.

[00:17:00] Or, you know, for those of you that love being in the middle of the party,

[00:17:05] it might be hard to just chill out because you can't relate what that's like.

[00:17:12] You don't draw energy from that.

[00:17:14] And as they say, knowledge is power.

[00:17:17] And the more that you know, the more you're empowered to behave differently.

[00:17:23] And so, I know each one of us has either a kid, a partner, co-workers or employees.

[00:17:32] And knowing ourselves, knowing them is part of this journey.

[00:17:39] So, I hope this brief conversation creates a bit of curiosity along your journey.

[00:17:47] And I wonder, are you a pure extrovert?

[00:17:52] Are you an introvert?

[00:17:54] Or are you like me? An amberbird?

[00:17:57] Until next time, stay curious.