Andrew Dewar - Discovering The Next Version Of Yourself

[00:00:01] Welcome to Business Finance and Soul! My name is Shaun Enders, and I'm a Curious Entrepreneur. I love exploring business, personal finance and consciousness. I'll jump around topics, offer my opinions, and occasionally interviewing interesting people. Looking forward to going on this journey. Let's be curious together!

[00:00:21] Andrew Dewar is the co-founder of 5-year-U. A personal development company with a singular focus, help 1 million people become their best selves in five years. Andrew began his career as a CPA, and like me, has always had a passion for financial freedom and self-improvement.

[00:00:45] He hosts a podcast named 5-year-U, and he's a true serial entrepreneur. Andrew, welcome to Business Finance and Soul! Hi, thanks for having me on him. I'm thrilled to be here, Shaun. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:00:58] Actually, as I was researching your background, I get really excited because we have so many aligned interests. I hope we get an opportunity to touch on all of them, but I want to start a bit with your origin story. Sure. You started your career in accounting.

[00:01:15] So naturally, money may be financial freedom and budgets are somewhere in your DNA. When did you first discover your passion for helping people? Perhaps you can kind of share your journey from accountant to five-year-U.

[00:01:32] Okay, well, I'll try to give you the condensed version of that since you don't have 45 years to go day by day. I started out always wanting to help people. My, I was the one who in kindergarten wanted to make people fit in feel comfortable, feel relaxed.

[00:01:49] And then, you know, life kind of comes in and does its thing to you as it does to all of us. And as I grew up, I actually had somebody asked me this this morning. Like, when did you decide to be an accountant?

[00:02:01] It was great six and it was, I thought an accountant was somebody that counted because whatever. That's just the way, you know, great six minds think I guessed. And then from there they told me like, no, it's not somebody that does this.

[00:02:16] It's somebody that, you know, they run companies and they do all this stuff and, you know, being, you know, middle class. I was like, well, that sounds really cool. I'm going to be an accountant and I really should have checked in about that more than after grade six.

[00:02:31] So I grew up and I kept going and I got to a place where I realized that it really wasn't for me. I enjoyed, I enjoyed the challenges that things were presenting, but I wasn't helping people in a way that was meaningful for me.

[00:02:52] At the same time, I was going through a what I now term a midlife awakening. A lot of people will call it a midlife crisis, but I'll get to my distinction of that if you don't mind in a bit.

[00:03:07] And what ended up happening was that I was not on the right path for myself. And I didn't even know I was in on the right path, but I had done everything right.

[00:03:20] I mean, I, I followed society's plan. I got to, you know, beautiful wonderful wife to kids that, you know, they do great, they're amazing. Big house, paid it off, cars, all this, all this stuff. I had literally created the dream life for myself, and I felt hollow inside.

[00:03:43] And I kept thinking something else was going to do it. Maybe it's, you know, while I was wanted a pool table, I'll get a pool table, maybe that will help.

[00:03:50] No, that didn't, no, it did, I mean, don't get me wrong. I like playing pool and everything, but it didn't fill the hole in my chest. And as this was happening, I went through, I was getting sicker and sicker. And I couldn't figure out what was going on.

[00:04:10] And it was almost like I had acid reflux. And I went to, I was taking pills for it. So I changed my, you know, like, tombs and all that. Those types of things. And so I changed my diet, nothing.

[00:04:26] And I started going to, if I went to an acupuncturist and she worked on me for two years, and it would get better, and then it would get worse. And meanwhile, while I'm trying to figure all this stuff out, I literally got hit on side in the head.

[00:04:42] And that was kind of the way things changed for me. So, at the time I was, I did the accounting thing, and then I was also exploring side-toes and side-hustles.

[00:04:57] I started building websites. I started writing because those are the things that actually did make me feel really, really good. And then, you know, people are interested in what you're doing, so I became more like, you know, I say, I'm an accountant, turn blogger, turn marketer, turn healer.

[00:05:12] And it's, the strangest path to go on, but it's the natural one that I guess I had to go on. And what happened with that hit on the head was I was playing hockey, and I would play five to seven times a week,

[00:05:28] and just going through the things, and I fell. And I've fallen that way a million times before, but this time I fell, landed on the side of my jaw. And everything changed.

[00:05:38] I got a concussion. I couldn't look at screens for six weeks, and nothing felt the same afterwards. All the while these things are happening inside of me where I'm like, this isn't right. I'm feeling more anxious. I'm feeling more nervous. What is going on? Something's not right.

[00:05:58] And I finally got to a point where I had to face some hard truths, and the hard truths were that I wasn't living my purpose. I was afraid to live my purpose because I had done everything that everyone else had.

[00:06:16] That was the plan. I didn't have a plan beyond where I was at. I was kind of like, okay, I'm in my 40s. And I have everything that everybody told me to go get. So I guess I just wait for death. That's not right, you know?

[00:06:30] So, and at these times, I would still have these moments where I wake up with like just a zest for life for doing the things that I really enjoyed.

[00:06:37] If I was meeting with somebody at night for a coffee and they want to talk about things in help grow.

[00:06:44] I was so focused and enjoying helping people, but I didn't know how to do it. I didn't want to go back to school for, you know, to become a psychologist or psychiatrist. I love listening to people and helping them, but I couldn't figure out what to do.

[00:07:03] And what happened next was, it was hard. I somebody told me that you know, the reason why we've done everything.

[00:07:19] I had eliminated everything from my diet and they said if this is the case, it's like, this is probably an emotional thing where you're heading your heart or disagreeing. And then floodgates opened up and what ended up happening.

[00:07:31] Because my body was telling me all along going, like you're not, you're not good. And I would check in with myself a million times every day, are you okay? I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Never actually pausing to answer that question.

[00:07:43] But to afraid to look at an answer. And as that happened, I realized there was a lot of things that I had just buried.

[00:07:53] And I think you and I were talking before and we're the same age. And I don't know if it was the same for you, but a lot of the generation we were raised by

[00:08:03] Often had like, men don't show feelings. You're just going to swallow that and you just keep swallowing and swallowing it. Well, you do that and it does get these emotions there are energy and motion that gets stuck inside of you and they can do a lot of damage.

[00:08:22] So the best analogy that my friend gave me was that you have been putting your emotions in boxes, your whole life and you've been putting them in a garage.

[00:08:32] And now that garage is completely full and you have two choices. You start unpacking the stuff and you heal and you get better and you move forward and you see what happens.

[00:08:46] Or you just keep leaning up against the door and kind of pushing everything in and you know it's going to have some pretty terrible effects on you.

[00:08:57] And this was, he's a doctor and he was like just a friend and he was just kind of explained like this is what I've seen happen.

[00:09:05] And you know, no medical advice or anything like that. So I was afraid to go talk about my life to anybody else. I was I didn't know what to do and someone suggested that I try EMDR and I'm not it's I movement and there's and something else I can't remember but it's EMDR.

[00:09:25] And what you basically do is you kind of go back to a problem that happened and you use a rapid eye movement to change your situation on that.

[00:09:42] So it's kind of like releasing the emotions that are stuck. There was a lot of crying there was a lot of bottled up things but the thing that came out for me was.

[00:09:54] And I had been abused when I was a child by my sister and she had severe autism. So here I am 12 years old, 14 years old and this sister of mine who I loved you. I got a picture of her right behind my screen right now.

[00:10:17] I loved dearly I was her protector. I was this and then suddenly she would she was going through her situation and you know, she's like there will be times in the night where she would just try to kill me.

[00:10:33] And I'm not saying that in a facetious way there were there were nights where we had to my father and I had to sleep in my room with our feet against the door because she could wake up at 3 a.m. come downstairs and who knows what she would grab it could be a book could be a knife you know, and renew what you're going to get thrown at you.

[00:10:50] So here is where a lot of the things start and we all have baggage this but I'm going to focus on my story because that's the one I get to live this this go.

[00:11:01] And as I'm listening to myself talk right now and I'm hearing this, I feel so much different about this story telling it now because I've dealt with all the emotions people would ask me if I had a sibling I'm like yeah I have a sister and that was it now I can talk about it but I had all these cues along the way.

[00:11:23] And I sister had to I'll get to the cues later on but my sister inevitably my parents had to make the terrible choice of protecting me or and putting her in a home or trying to make this work and who knows if it's going to last but it lasted for a while.

[00:11:43] So I grew up in a context of not feeling safe. I did not know what safe felt like. I don't know how it was for you growing up in the 80s and 90s but inside the house wasn't very safe a lot of the time where I lived.

[00:11:59] And inside the house was less safe so I had I just didn't have I didn't know what safety was and I set out to try to create that for myself by following everybody's plan because everybody else seemed like they had it figured out.

[00:12:15] So the explosion nobody does but yeah so I went through that and after going through this EMDR and releasing this stuff I found.

[00:12:27] What we were doing was we were removing the bottom Django block of my of this belief system that I am not safe and when that collapsed.

[00:12:40] Everything started to change I you know the world just looked different I there were times I would walk out and like I felt like I had walked into a whole new world it was quite remarkable.

[00:12:53] And that got me thinking okay well if this is the way it is and I can heal myself this fast because part of my my issue was I didn't want to go I had done therapy as a kid for this kind of stuff that didn't work so I kind of just put it in all in the box in the garage.

[00:13:07] And as I was working through this I kept thinking okay well if this works maybe there's other things I clearly I don't know anything so I'm going to just try stuff and see what works for me and.

[00:13:19] Follow the path as it may lead doesn't always lead you to a great place is when you trust your ego over intuition but I'm working on that. And it got me to energy healing and I went for a rakey session the first time and this was.

[00:13:38] It was insane the the ladies said you know like we just released a lot of energy you might feel a little tired she talked about my shockers which I had never heard that word before and now I know very lot of hope them.

[00:13:54] And as I was doing this I went home that night actually it even wasn't even that night like this is a new non a Saturday and I slept till Monday morning.

[00:14:03] Like just this energy I got and released and I'm like okay so this is cool so okay this I don't know what it actually did to me but it's done something and that was the problem with all of this was you know account and brain if it's not on a spreadsheet this doesn't exist so.

[00:14:20] I don't understand what's happening with this but I'm going to just try to open up enough to let the goods in and the bads out.

[00:14:28] And then she encouraged me to look into theta healing there was a theta healer there and that I did that and I thought it was very interesting again. It's a very unique process and I released some more limiting beliefs around trapped emotions previous experiences removing feelings adding feelings.

[00:14:54] Replacing thoughts with other thoughts it's kind of what we do and from there.

[00:15:01] I just kind of was on my healing journey ended up getting divorced and that was so hard because it's very hard to communicate to anyone you know like it truly isn't you it's me and I'm really sorry about that and I am to those day because.

[00:15:23] This is a she's an amazing person it's just not the right person for me and it doesn't serve either one of us to try to make something work so.

[00:15:31] That's a bit of a challenge but I had grown up being super dad and the thing I had held on to was.

[00:15:42] To be a great dad I have to do everything and I have to do it perfect and I don't know if you share that sentiment at all.

[00:15:50] But it's an impossible standard to live up to but I still try to do it as much as I can now and it comes in you know sometimes you hit it out of the park other times you take the ball in the knee and you know you're horrible.

[00:16:04] But that's kind of how it goes so.

[00:16:07] As I've cleared up so many boxes suddenly it was my birthday and I had the kids and I went into this shop and they were doing the last series of theta and straight theta healing instructors for our problems because the instructor was moving on.

[00:16:25] And there was a series and I thought oh maybe I'll do that I don't know and then I started to kind of become aware of all the situations that would have to happen for these things to come into alignment.

[00:16:36] And as I started to unpack my boxes as I started to open up to things these synchronities kept lining up and I was ignoring them at first and now I kind of see them and move forward and that's what kind of led me to theta healing and that's where I'm at now which is completely different.

[00:16:57] That's a beautiful journey and there's so much that I want to touch upon because you know first a lot of it resonates with me I witnessed both my my wife go through this and we've we've been together for 25 years and so.

[00:17:17] You know we were kids thank you we were kids when we got together and ultimately as you as you grow you know you never know who you're going to become and and if you'll ever have that opportunity in this lifetime to.

[00:17:34] You know you're going to find the true essence of you because like you mentioned the matrix that we all live in right you know the. The society that's built in in a you know co creation.

[00:17:50] Environment which is which is what it is right if I'm not creating something somebody else is and and then I'm just part of that and I'm existing and I'm wondering.

[00:17:58] What are the rules you know okay so the rules are this and okay so I'm getting along and I should like this this is whatever one else seems to be doing as you alluded to.

[00:18:09] And and but that path doesn't get you to the essence of of who you are really your soul's journey like why why you're here.

[00:18:18] What's your purpose and what do you meant to learn in in this experience and what I find fascinating first off you you know you mentioned a friend I'm not sure if you're still friends today but that they mentioned that you're like.

[00:18:34] You know you're your purpose in in your soul weren't aligned. I'm not sure if that's a I'm paraphrasing there a little bit but.

[00:18:43] What I find fascinating is there's so many people who kind of quietly suffer that have gone through and it's typically some type of injury some sort of wake up call you know even even cancer.

[00:18:58] You know things that that really become you know front and center in your life that you must deal with and they can't be kind of shuffled to the side and. You some how stitched it together to find out that wait a second.

[00:19:19] I just about my health you know that's that's a part of it. It's not just my physical body it's my emotional body too. Yeah. Did that come through just self exploration did you have family that that that.

[00:19:37] How different views or were they kind of maybe a standard religious background can you talk to me a little bit about like how you made that leap because I.

[00:19:48] I know people that have made the leap and it's beautiful and then I know people that are just keeps suffering as the as the world is trying to wake them up right.

[00:19:58] However, the universe or you know aren't higher essence or power something is trying to wake them up and they just won't do it and I can't do it for them. They have to.

[00:20:07] No, you're right like I think a lot of people have like what what North American society called the come to God moment right like that moment that you're awakening.

[00:20:20] I thought it to the nail in my mind of my body and I fought it for a long time like we're not talking a couple years like. I.

[00:20:30] It's almost like I knew my purpose and I didn't want to look at that wall so I was going to go look and I didn't want to look at the door so I turned around and looked at a wall and just like oh this is all there is that's this is great.

[00:20:42] And when. As far as like people in my life my mom is very open to all things and she's. It's not. Nothing but supportive and I think that is just it's beautiful.

[00:20:56] My father is also you know, I think like most men and I'm sorry to characterize the ones that aren't like this way in a generalization but I think we are very very 3D people and we don't understand.

[00:21:09] What we don't understand is really hard to get our heads around and as we get older we become less flexible in our thinking. Hmm. And. Lessings to my father he, you know, he never criticized or condemned.

[00:21:27] He because we had to I had to unpack things that I had put away that he didn't even realize I was doing is just your kid, you know like.

[00:21:36] Like a flipping remark is something that you can take with you for the rest of your life even though it doesn't mean anything and I had done that with him and with a million other people I'm sure. Which is a big thing, but my friend David who. He's.

[00:21:58] He knew me before I was born he he was born across the street from me and he knew my mom when she was pregnant with me and I've known him. I've known him 45 years, he's known me a little bit longer than that.

[00:22:11] And that's he has been the one who has helped me through a lot of this stuff and. Though, you know if I told you every aspect of the story it would take forever but people I have one new friend.

[00:22:31] And that's it I have I just have one other friend of my life now I'm just kidding.

[00:22:35] But one of his people was developing like a medium ship sense and he just said to me he's like when I was at my worst he said whoever you're thinking about I need to talk to them.

[00:22:47] And he kept insisting to talk with me because that's why it been thinking about I met him briefly in a meeting online and never thought about it again. And but he kept like saying like he's really needing to talk to you.

[00:22:59] And at the time I had been meditating for about a year every day I've been doing it on and off but I really am good if I get a streak going I'm better that way.

[00:23:09] So I think I'm at like three or four years now from that point you're in a good company that's that's.

[00:23:14] That's from a good yeah it's it is really it's really the the only thing that that turns me back right you know that that puts me back to reset absolutely.

[00:23:26] I feel the exact same way and so he like when I had been meditating when all this stuff was happening one day I was in my meditation and I just felt energy on my head it was almost like the vent above me had been turned on you know like that kind of like like draft and you're like I don't.

[00:23:43] You're like I don't you know and so I did the normal accountant thing I literally blocked out every source of air that could come into that room because that's what it had to be. Couldn't be a third. Couldn't be a third. Couldn't be a third.

[00:23:58] I am a week and anything like that because I didn't know what that is so. Right of course, you know of course if you don't know something help you if you don't have a framework for it's just scary.

[00:24:08] Yeah you're not inviting it you're just you just it's not part of those those words aren't part of your lexicon right like that's just not how you see the world so yeah absolutely.

[00:24:18] Yeah, so when you hear words like third eye and shock rose and energy stuff yeah it's it's weird I mean like let's call what it is because you know just like if you grew up just knowing energy stuff and somebody said no no no no there's this thing called money and it dictates all over our lives you'd be like that.

[00:24:35] That's kind of stupid and but it's the reality right you know what you know and that's part of growth is challenging what you know and letting go of what doesn't serve you anymore. Sure.

[00:24:48] Thank you and so what happened with that like this thing was coming there this kind of and for those of you listening I'm just like kind of petting my head almost like you know you would pet a cat or a dog.

[00:25:02] And this guy Willie Joe came and he said you have an angel on your shoulder it's one of your guides it's your grandma and I'm going to sum this up because this was like you know a long conversation.

[00:25:15] And I started to cry and and then he said there's a message for you from her and it is you need to love yourself. And then I cried for 45 minutes in front of the stranger on a on a face time call that I've only met once.

[00:25:32] And that was kind of like it was a very big pivotal point because a a a a a cry in front of another guy and that was unique.

[00:25:40] But now I do it all the time crying is very, very important to let your emotions out let your emotions flow. That's absolutely right.

[00:25:50] So yeah so there were these you know I always kind of figure you hear this stuff and you we we modify everything that's not a word but it should be where we we think there's going to be this big dramatic moment and they do happen but you never realize the dramatic moment until you look back when I fell on the ice I was just tick that I you know had a concussion.

[00:26:10] That's right. I had everyone on my friends say you have fallen way worse than that a million other times and nothing and but that was my moment it had to happen so.

[00:26:25] It was starting as I started to make these new friends and contacts and you know I kind of consider everybody I mean a friend.

[00:26:34] I started to see differently and the right people came into support me and I think that was the hardest part because I I live in a pretty small community and it's not a lot of people leave I kind of moved into this and great people.

[00:26:53] But they're not this kind of talk is really not something a lot of people in the world in general talk about in our society let alone. The stuff happening to you and.

[00:27:09] It's it's almost embarrassing in one sense so it was really important to find one person that believed in in all of this and has supported me because I still don't understand a lot of the stuff that happens to me I don't understand it.

[00:27:22] But that's just my ego brain kind of tuning in going well you know you just you just found these things on the like I have a story I'm my brain kind of fired off in two different ways.

[00:27:36] I've tried to make sense of it and I realize the more I try to make sense of it the less I can so I've yeah I do my best to stop if that's just the ego coming in and trying to make sure that it makes sense.

[00:27:49] Well, it's bigger than our own comprehension for where we are sometimes as you're learning you know it's just you're following these bread crumbs right and for me absolutely that's that's what it is. And I have to question my own sanity at times.

[00:28:02] Oh yeah, fortunately I do have a partner that went through this and she's really the catalyst for my own expansion in growth because. You know when things were happening to her it was through injury also.

[00:28:17] And set her on a completely different trajectory of where you know she was all business and has a finance background and was running our company as a co-founder along with another co-founder. And then you know really woke up into this space of.

[00:28:38] This isn't this isn't for me right like this is not the path that I should be on and but it took it took us a very injury for her to get to that space and she's super athletic and so to see her like bedridden for like a week straight away she couldn't get up her it was just yeah.

[00:28:57] The skeletal pain and you know and you're just like this is going on and it's so outlandish that the story itself doesn't make a lot of sense but when you're going through it you have these key opportunities and you should be very proud of yourself I think a lot of times.

[00:29:12] We don't give ourselves enough credit for identifying what's right in front of us because. The world that you grew up in you know what it takes to become a CPA and to do a traditional path you know where.

[00:29:28] You know we don't talk about these types of things I mean there's not really why would you first off yeah. You know there's not really a place for it it's commerce right you're you're exchanging you know your skill set for somebody else's resources and.

[00:29:43] Numbers on a sheet yeah that's what it is and there's nothing wrong with it it's a great career in the world needs it. But you should be very proud of yourself for for for getting into that self identification space where you go wait a second you know like.

[00:29:59] I feel differently about how I want to interact with the world and. And I see like you said you kind of stepped outside and all of a sudden you have a new reality yeah and I think that there's a lot of people that.

[00:30:16] Really struggle with this because there's this space of financial responsibility in the world right. And staying in the matrix because you have like you have 14 year old and 16 year old two children.

[00:30:32] When you woke up you still have this reality that's been created by you and with you and for you but then.

[00:30:43] I think a lot of people are stuck in that space of where how do you how do you live in both worlds how do you exist and still find it palatable to.

[00:30:53] Have friends that you you know like you created this whole life and so it's hard to just exit all of that and I think that's what's so impressive is that you've had to straddle slowly both words. And I'm curious.

[00:31:09] Do you find this as now a theta healer yourself you work with with individuals that have gone through trauma. You you work with individuals that you know or have gone through divorce mental health issues you know kind of midlife awakenings.

[00:31:27] Now do you feel comforted in some way knowing that others are experiencing what you're what you have experienced. Yeah, a hundred percent after every session I have with someone I feel fulfilled. It's and it's a feeling I never had in my other in my other job.

[00:31:51] I used to before you know life took over I used to sing and play guitar and cafes in the 90s because I was the real cool thing to do. And the fact that you can play guitar is actually pretty cool so thanks.

[00:32:04] Yeah and I used to do that. I remember every night just loving that whether nobody was sitting in a wash I just was doing what I wanted to do and that was powerful.

[00:32:13] But it was nothing compared to having a moment where you get to sit with someone and you sit with them for an hour and they sometimes they don't share sometimes they do we don't like the process that I go through with this is.

[00:32:34] There's no road map for it. So yeah, you know you just kind of you help the I think the hardest thing and this is just sometimes I get ideas that I need to say and this is one that's coming through.

[00:32:46] Yeah, I think when people listen to this kind of stuff the their first inclination is to say well my things weren't that bad or maybe later and what I'm seeing with that is it's.

[00:33:04] Your problems are your problems period don't compare them to anybody else's if you know just like one person can bench press a thousand pounds and one person can only do one pound.

[00:33:15] We all are at a different space and your job in this life is to decide if you want to deal with that or to let it go.

[00:33:26] And I think when we go through these things when we're thinking about getting help first of all it's really hard to ask for help and it's really I wish it wasn't. But that's a belief system that we have inside our help inside of ourselves.

[00:33:43] And did I just see inside of our health that you said inside of yourselves okay I'm like did that just come out that way okay well either way.

[00:33:53] But when we have those things and you're trying to make these changes it doesn't have to be a monumental shift it wasn't for me it happened faster than I would have liked it to.

[00:34:05] And at the same time it was happening for a very very long time that I was ignoring you know we use the example a lot of the time like you know there was smoke.

[00:34:19] And it was getting near the smoke alarm so I was just fanning it away and it's never bothering to look like you know is it something in the toaster is there right giant fire behind me so.

[00:34:30] The sooner you deal with things the sooner you can heal the sooner you can move forward and. What I would say is and I'm kind of gotten away from your question I do apologize. What I would say is that. Yeah there's a life that you built.

[00:34:51] And you built that life and if you love your life great probably not listening to this right now you probably whatever but if you're listening to this and you're like I am unfaithled.

[00:35:01] I come home at night I feel empty I feel like what I do doesn't matter I feel like I'm not helping anyone there's got to be something more that was the feeling I had.

[00:35:12] And when you can start to see that and think maybe I'm meant for something more you are if you've been thinking that there's a really good chance you are meant for something more it's one thing when you're in your 20s and you're like you're going to take over the world and you're going to be the world's greatest account.

[00:35:30] But when you still have this like it's not this isn't it this isn't it this isn't it. It really does. Change your life to help people in a meaningful way I have had. I've had clients. Leave relationships that I've had clients.

[00:35:54] Overcome immense things and it is so beautiful because they're finally accepting their own worth. And once you can start seeing your own worth then you move forward.

[00:36:07] But sometimes you need someone else to show you it before you can believe it and that's what I can help and that's when I help facilitate with people sometimes. That's beautiful. Thank you and for the record most people come to me because they have a money problem.

[00:36:25] And it's probably not a money problem it's a something else problem but that's where we get through it and we figure out what the actual route problem is.

[00:36:35] But we all think we have a money problem living with the truth is Sean I would rather be with five positive people who want my best success. And I want their best success.

[00:36:47] Then 50 people who want me to sit around as a drinking buddy on the weekend and not talk about anything. I'm incapable of talking of having shallow conversations.

[00:36:57] And bless all the people that can because they truly are lucky in their own and their own right but that's just not me. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the people that I find because.

[00:37:10] They're authentic they're themselves and I'm really grateful for that and I consider you one of them because you are. Definitely. Evolving you can see it. I appreciate you saying that and and.

[00:37:22] You just nailed it when you said it is a blessing for those that don't that can have just a conversation and small talk for hours upon hours. Yeah. For me it's such a struggle.

[00:37:34] I actually didn't know that about myself for a long time I just kind of thought like what's wrong with me right like why am I. You know, why do I feel like this but I think one of the things that. You're touching upon there's kind of this.

[00:37:50] There's the way that we look at the world right now traditionally which is that you go and get an education get a job and then. Fast forward all the way to retirement is when you stop working. And so there's this big you know 40 years in between.

[00:38:08] 40 five years in between of where a lot happens right in terms of life potential marriage potential kids. Move all these other things but one of the reasons I always stress financial freedom is.

[00:38:24] And it's starting early is to take advantage of the various seasons and chapters in our lives because I do believe like you said, you know when you're in your 20s.

[00:38:36] Yeah, God bless you if you if you have that wake up of where you're like, oh I'm supposed to be on this on this path right like tiger which you is going to be you know who is going to be at age three and you could see him and.

[00:38:49] For whatever thing his his he was given that gift and they were able to find that gift and and go with it early on but a lot of people don't.

[00:38:56] And I think that when you just discover that gift until a certain point and I think that when you wrap yourself up financially into all the trappings of where you. You are restricted from making any real having any real moments to discovery like.

[00:39:12] And I think that you have to be able to make it to be a good way to get paid off your mortgage years ago and I'm sure that that helped you financially to be in a position where when you were following bread crumbs.

[00:39:22] You, you were able to say you know what maybe I maybe I do want to make a pivot maybe there is something more for me.

[00:39:30] And I think that's why it's so financially restricted to where it's not even an option like I can't look at anything other than what's going to make me the most money right now and that's why.

[00:39:40] Clearly your patience initially come in thinking it's a money thing it's a lot deeper than that and I think for most people that are struggling. It's kind of at the root of something.

[00:39:54] And it has nothing to do with any of it it's just has something to do with the way that it dictates their lives right I would say I'd say you're right on that I think money I mean let's money dictates everything right I don't get to go to.

[00:40:12] clients I don't clients can't come see me if there's not some sort of exchange involved and same thing with like you know my business partners in the state so I need to travel for that I need to go places I need to do all these different things.

[00:40:26] I will say though that when you think of money we tend to think of it as the root cause because that's what we're really raised with right like.

[00:40:36] You know and it's nobody's fault there's scarcity mindset that gets put into most of us I would think and we somehow in is very prevalent now that like more is better.

[00:40:50] I have more money than things will be better well more money just makes you more of who you are if your nervous wreck right now and you have ten thousand dollars a month.

[00:40:58] And you make a million dollars a month you're just going to be a nervous wreck you know hundred times more than that because you're going to be worried about who's going to take your money.

[00:41:06] Or if you deserve the money or if you're worthy of that and all these belief systems like they'll come up to the surface so money.

[00:41:15] In a in a sense that we're talking right now not on a commerce sense but money and having a money problem is usually the yellow on the dandelion and it's not the root underneath and we can cut that dandelion down week after week after week.

[00:41:30] But those that root structure is still there it might be growing but until you look at it and go it's not money it is.

[00:41:42] It's value it's approval it's shame it's guilt is being too much it's feeling like you're about to where it's all these different things but our brain is way happier to go like I just don't have enough money to do that well what if you did what if you did have I did that exercise.

[00:41:59] This weekend with myself and it kind of burnt me a little bit.

[00:42:05] So because for me it was like what would you do if you had all the money in the world I go live somewhere you know not here and well why don't you do that now well because my kids I wouldn't see my kids will you have all the money in the world you can just five them here.

[00:42:20] Oh shoot there so that well you know stuttering now because I was really stuttering at the time and.

[00:42:29] When you can kind of uncover that you and then that's when the work starts it's suddenly you're like yeah it's not money and it's not it's not you know not this or not that.

[00:42:39] And what it for me at boil down to was well if I had all the money in the world and I could go do anything I want I'd be doing this.

[00:42:48] I would be growing my company because there's a lot of ideas that I would love to explore I really want to do but I was really worried that I would not have approval of like parents or always all these things and so you know.

[00:43:08] I approve of myself and we use muscle testing and to decide all these things because there I mean I can get into another time perhaps about all the different stuff around fade away and whatnot.

[00:43:23] I do this kind of stuff we recognize that we have like these conscious beliefs but everything is usually sitting underneath the the surface it's like it's the tides underneath that are moving us around that we're not aware of.

[00:43:38] I mean we may not even be from like this lifetime it could be stuff handed down to us from generation after generation we're just you know you always save that piece of string because you never know when you're going to need more string you know like that.

[00:43:52] That's the kind of mindset that some of us have and yeah and that's my own is that biologically you know trauma is expressed through DNA and.

[00:44:02] And so yeah you know having generational trauma is real that's that's no longer a theory you know that that's a scientific fact and and status is part of the human experience so status of course money makes.

[00:44:21] So important because it's the easiest thing to measure right you know it's very easy for us to measure and that worth it's very easy to find out on a scorecard where you stack up you know the things that come out that say.

[00:44:35] What should you retirement balance be within these ages well everybody clicks on that because you're like yeah my. Am I measuring my good yeah like how's your credit score compared to your peers you know and so right.

[00:44:48] These things that are very tangible and measurement and create an opportunity for you to understand your status and where you exist within the realm of other humans is. It's it's easy and it's by default something that we go to what is an easy is finding out.

[00:45:07] You know really what trauma in your childhood is creating root causes of your suffering today yeah right that it's not easy and what's what else is an easy is you know how.

[00:45:22] How you talk about that and who you speak with this about you know and and I think that. We're as a society you know specifically within you know North America I know your Canadian. So all North America is going through you know this.

[00:45:41] I would call it in awakening of where more and more individuals like you said men are growing up as young men. Generationally we were still holding our feelings in we still weren't talking about it suck it up and yeah and.

[00:45:57] We're getting past that we're getting to a point of where we can talk about it we can put it out there not everybody knows how to deal with it yet.

[00:46:05] But for able to express it and it doesn't make us you know any less of who we are by actually just kind of putting our emotions out there having real conversations so yeah. You're right and I think.

[00:46:22] First of all the idea that I would have two years ago I would have beyond even a year ago that I'd be on a podcast telling you you know some of the stuff that's happened seemed ridiculous. I would have left myself out of the room.

[00:46:36] But these things have happened to me they've happened to me for a reason I believe and I've seen it in every session I've had there's always something that I can when somebody talks to me about something I've been able to see like.

[00:46:50] Oh this is like the time when this really bad thing for me that almost killed me happened and now I can come at this from an empathy level.

[00:46:59] Not a level of why I remember reading this in a textbook in second year that you know when somebody has facial trauma you deal with it this way it's not it's from an emotional understanding and.

[00:47:15] You know I had to stop as not easy and I'm still working on this because it's you're you're always working on things but I had to start to realize that things weren't happening to me they were happening for me. I had something really bad happening to me.

[00:47:33] I would I called my friend I called my business partner those are the only two people I know in this world no I'm just kidding and I would say to them.

[00:47:44] Look I'm I'm I'm at bottom right now and they would always be able to turn around and it's like do you know how many people you're going to be able to help because you you're suffering right now and do you know.

[00:47:57] How good you're going to feel afterwards because if you're feeling that low I believe that you're going to also be able to feel the opposite we live in a world of duality.

[00:48:05] And so for you to experience higher and higher amounts of joy you must have suffered some pain at some point that doesn't mean you have to suffer the pain again to get the joy but you know if you're listening to this me thinking this is a lot of I've had so much pain I don't know how to deal with it.

[00:48:21] You know what maybe you're about to have a whole bunch of joy come into your life and you're just blocking it because you've been so worried about all the pain. That's right and that is a very powerful very very powerful thing.

[00:48:34] Yeah, yeah that's well that that that's amazing because I think that when you shift your your mindset to for you instead of to you and you start seeing all of these traumatic.

[00:48:49] I mean some are more traumatic like you know you're going to have when you're younger being 10 11 12 years old and having safety. Being an issue for you because of what your sister was suffering through you know that's that's very traumatic because those are key.

[00:49:05] Times in our lives where you know our software is being developed in terms of you know how we interact with our nervous system and you know what what comes to the forefront later in life and safety is a big one for humans to feel safe.

[00:49:20] But when you can actually reframe go back and actually look at that time in your life as. 18 your future self in terms of your ability to empathize with with other people that you're going to help you know that have experience something and you go.

[00:49:39] I had to go through that because it wouldn't have any emotion, I mean if your life was just this perfect example of protection safety. And you never experienced anything and you didn't have the emotions to experience it, how can you really connect.

[00:50:00] How can you really help others heal so it really was a gift for you and and great that you see it that way now. Yeah, it wasn't always that way. No, not sure and it takes a tremendous amount of work I was hoping maybe that you could give.

[00:50:18] Maybe just a high level overview of of five year you when you know your mission has been to really help. And I think that's a good timeline because it does it takes a while it's a lot of one thing I learned in life is that.

[00:50:38] You can you can show somebody the roadmap and give them everything that it will will put them on a journey of beautiful self discovery and living in, you know their own authentic self.

[00:50:53] But but we have to do it as humans, you know we have to push forward we have to persevere we have to face the challenges the demons or whatever is inside of us that's that's taking us the other direction.

[00:51:06] What's the roadmap for you when somebody signs up with five year you what do you how how do you start with them and where do you where do you guide them to.

[00:51:17] So we have a home study course that will take people through the layers of life and what the layers of life is it's something that we were months on and if you can think of a like a target sign like like the store target.

[00:51:33] Yeah, which we don't have in Canada but you know it's the best thing I got at the center of it is our soul.

[00:51:39] And what I found from personal experience and from talking to a lot of people is most of us are focused on that outer layer and the outer layer is the physical it's the stuff.

[00:51:50] You know it's who I'm friends with what I do the titles the status the Instagram the and there's nothing wrong with any of that stuff the problem is most of us are coming from that outside ring.

[00:52:02] And we come about it in a wrong way we think that the outside the stuff is going to get me the lifestyle I want and the people in my life.

[00:52:11] And then when it's I have the stuff the job the people then I can start to kind of explore myself and feel better.

[00:52:21] And what we're doing is we're getting people to start from the inside and say okay what is it with you and sometimes people want to do a theta session or two and we can we can do those.

[00:52:35] And we go okay so this is what makes me happy and the funny part is most of us when we get asked that question we're so stunted on it that we go well I could never do that.

[00:52:47] You know I could never talk to people and help them why not well because I don't know how to do that well you didn't know a math at one point you figured it out don't don't stop yourself before you go so we get that and it's like okay once you know.

[00:53:02] And what if you go to five five year you comm slash layers of life there's a podcast on it and there's a diagram for it.

[00:53:11] And when you go through that though okay so you know who you are that's really what we want to find out first is who are you authentically.

[00:53:18] Not who mom and dad want you to be not who your friends who you're wife or spouse you're significant other your kids nobody who is Sean okay.

[00:53:28] Sean is whatever he says okay so what is Sean what is Sean look like spiritually emotionally physically mental that's the second ring.

[00:53:37] You're these are the things that you define as yourself that you come out with or are you somebody who wants to retweve hours a day or somebody who runs or somebody who doesn't do a lot of exercise but wants to be fit or somebody who's like you know what I just want to eat as much as I can because.

[00:53:52] This is my this is the life I want right now and there's nothing wrong if it's coming from your authentic self I believe something my place to tell you no you can't do that that's not right.

[00:54:04] So once you decide on who you are at a core once you know I am like in my case I'm here to help people heal I'm here to serve unfortunately I've been the crash test dummy for a lot of this stuff and that's that's the role I chose that's the button I hit on the way on the way down to earth I guess.

[00:54:26] And once we know who we are once we feel comfortable with that identity doesn't mean we have to feel comfortable outside of ourselves with it but just owning our stuff.

[00:54:36] Then we can move on to the social level and the social level is our intimacy and I'm not just talking intimacy with a significant other. I'm talking about intimacy with everyone do you feel comfortable talking about who you are.

[00:54:49] And do you try like when you start coming from the inside out suddenly the right people show up I and I wish I had a formula that explained this I don't but they show up.

[00:55:00] And then you find like you'll find your community your family will resonate differently because you are not trying to be everybody else you're trying to be shot. And I'm not saying this is in your case but you get to be on the call so if this is over.

[00:55:18] Then from there we go okay so this is who I want to be this is what I want. Now I'm going to think about how I want to spend my time do I want to work full time.

[00:55:29] I want to work part time do I want all the accolades and like does it really matter to me now that I'm doing what matters that I have a massive house because I went through that and I you know it was cool don't get me wrong but it didn't make me happy.

[00:55:47] Because I went for again from outside. And then you get to that hour where finally once you kind of get through like how you're spending your life how you want to spend your days what you want to do with your life.

[00:55:59] Then you can get to the outside stuff and that's when you know.

[00:56:04] Because the outside stuff is fun that's that is why we're here in a way am I shutting stuff I mean like you know but it's a way different thing of thinking I'm going to go by a test because everybody else on my street once once so I can get there.

[00:56:19] And I can get some kind of situations and approval versus I just think test those are cool and I want to test that or I just think a boat is cool so I'm going to get a boat and I don't need to get.

[00:56:31] Speed boat I just need like a little small fishing boat because I love to fish and I just really want to spend a good chunk of my day fishing. You start understanding the game. Why are you in your act?

[00:56:41] Yeah that is exactly it you understand the game and you look at the rules like we were talking earlier that everybody has.

[00:56:50] And you go you know what this doesn't make sense to me it does to a lot of people not a lot not everybody's going to wake up and go oh yeah this is makes sense but.

[00:57:03] When you start to honor yourself from the inside when you when you are willing to take that look inside everything can get better for you.

[00:57:12] But you don't have to do it all at once you don't have to quit the job and move to a sanctuary and do all the things you can get up and just meditate in the morning or go for a walk or whatever you like to do and just honor yourself for a minute of day to start out with.

[00:57:29] That is a big thing and that's kind of the idea with magic morning which is a program that we have. It's free you can download it go to five of your dot com slash mornings and when you you just kind of go through it it's just you know.

[00:57:47] You can start doing that start the day with purpose on your purpose don't start the day by accident you've been doing that your whole life it's not working so we need to change it.

[00:58:03] So let's just create a little bit of something for you and see how your life starts changing when you start honoring yourself. You know, you're not letting them let more thought process around intentionality and really getting clear with how you're interacting on a day to day basis with.

[00:58:22] Yeah, you know, form you know which is fun, you know it is it is like you said it's a slow it's just they're awesome you get in it you step on a pedal and you're past everybody in a couple seconds when you need to and.

[00:58:37] And it's a different driving experience but you're not doing it because you you know your you're you're unconsciously chasing status right you are consciously aware that I'm having fun and I want to do this and same thing with getting on a boat because you just you just love being out in the ocean.

[00:58:55] As you can tell everybody you know what what features the boat has and so I think that those were great examples and I think you bring you up. You know, micr morning really is it's so imperative because.

[00:59:09] I think the routine and how you set the day a lot of people just get up and start reacting right check your phone look at the emails. The kids need this or you know work needs this and you go into an autopilot of fielding ground.

[00:59:23] And so I love that one goes with the other and really really impressed with your ability to. Take a career path that is.

[00:59:40] That's great and respectable like accounting and going down that CPA route and then actually pivoting and using your skills to to really help others on this journey. Since you've lived both lives I think what's really cool about that is that.

[00:59:58] And when I'm getting from this is that people don't have to just leave behind you know what they've built you get to use it as an opportunity as a springboard for you.

[01:00:08] And what you're suggesting in five of your you is just finding more of the essence of who you are tapping into that energy you mentioned something that really resonates with me which is.

[01:00:21] The magic of life in general which is finding that resonance everything is a frequency everything is energy.

[01:00:30] Why are we attracted to some people over others and why is authenticity so compelling to us when people are living in their authentic selves like musicians you know like you said you.

[01:00:42] You played music when you watch musicians at the highest level and they're just lost you know on stage in their own world but they're creating this beautiful music and you can feel the essence of their authenticity right like they are.

[01:00:56] Yeah absolutely in their Dharma right you know they are in this space that they were meant to be and that. That vibration is why the audience is so compelled to want to be part of that journey as opposed to somebody who.

[01:01:12] Maybe wasn't meant for that feels all those nerves can't get ever stage right out of their mind they're two in their head. They might be great music but you can't.

[01:01:23] And then you can't really feel the vibrationally aligned with them and so you exactly you feel the weirdness that they're feeling.

[01:01:30] And that's a great analogy holy how about I'm telling you that that's the essence when we're saying well what's the magic of why some friends you just meet people and you go like. Yeah totally love you and we will only spent like five minutes together right.

[01:01:46] You're my person we're best friends. Don't let's just move on from that and they're like yep that's how that's that brother's seeing yeah it's like do we just become best friends.

[01:01:55] Yes, okay and you're off and that's what I love and that's the magic of life but you you miss out on that if you don't.

[01:02:03] Live with intentionality if you don't have somebody like for me I'm a big auto die deck so I'm constantly learning self improving always trying to absorb more. Not everybody. Is it like that?

[01:02:19] No so they do need some assistance they do need some outside help to help guide them and put them on a path and so yeah back to my original point which is just I'm super impressed with the fact that you will have become that conduit.

[01:02:34] You'll put yourself into the space of where you've used your life experiences both as a. Corporate professional and as somebody who's really experienced life you know in a traumatic way when you're younger now helping propel people to to new realities so.

[01:02:50] Thanks for thanks for doing this and thanks for your work Andrew very happy to be here thank you for having me I really appreciate absolutely. Unless there's anything else that you want to kind of throw out I want to make sure that we can.

[01:03:06] You know help individuals that want to find you find you yeah but is there anything else that you'd like to say.

[01:03:14] I yeah I'm going to there's a couple things that kind of pop in and I'm trying to trust my intuition more because you know it's it's a process it's an evolution.

[01:03:24] For the people out there if you are listening to this and you're thinking that I can't I'm not I wish I could but.

[01:03:34] There's something there that you're hiding it can help I can help with that there's I do my sessions online so you don't have to come to win a big middle of Canada it's fine it all works online.

[01:03:47] But I will say that your story is important and the more you can own your story and feel comfortable with it no matter what's happened.

[01:03:59] The more you're going to be able to help others that's the one thing I have found from going through all this stuff and I'll also say that.

[01:04:06] Don't compare your trauma to somebody else's you came here to experience the bad things and you came here to experience the good things so my role is to help you shed some of those bad things to help you understand.

[01:04:23] Life in a new way and you know a lot of times we just need permission so.

[01:04:29] You should be able to give it to yourself that's the only person you ever knew permission from but if you're like me and you need a permission from an outside source for 40 plus years.

[01:04:37] Consider yourself you got permission to you know to lean into it can always lean back but. Give yourself permission to just think about it for a moment see where it takes you.

[01:04:49] Very well said I love that we're where can people find you Andrew where would you like them to go.

[01:04:56] Oh for sure the easiest place is five year you calm that's the the main site I have several websites but we're in the process of probably selling a few of them.

[01:05:11] On socials it's it's Andrew do we're so ITS Andrew and DREW do we're D.E. W. AR and I'm on Instagram and.

[01:05:22] And then tick talk they're new channels so just getting all that stuff set up right now but that's where or they can just go to it's Andrew do we're calm and that'll take you to the theta healing page and.

[01:05:34] If you want to just book a discovery call to see if it's the right thing for you I would love to talk for a little bit and see if it makes sense beautiful. Thanks Andrew for your time. Thank you Sean appreciate it.